Final Fantasy XIII Omake Theatre
by Raziel12
Summary: When crossovers and AUs aren't enough... a series of omake based on Final Fantasy XIII and the stories I've written. Chapter 16: "You are weak, Daughter of Yun, unsure of yourself."
1. What It Means To Be Awesome SH x OH

**Note: This omake is set in a universe combining two of my other stories, _Ordinary Heroes_ and _Superhero_.**

X X X

**What It Means To Be Awesome – The Mightiest Six Year Old In The World**

Diana stared at her reflection in the mirror. It had taken her all morning to find the things she needed, but finally she had a costume of her own. There was no way her parents could leave her behind now. They'd have to take her with them when they went off to go beat up bad guys and stuff. Still, she should probably check everything one more time. After all, a superhero needed to look really cool.

Shirt? Check. It was her favourite one. It even had Lady Lightning and Ultrawoman on it.

Shorts? Check. They were bright pink, just like her mom's hair.

Gloves? Check. Well… they were more like mittens, but they were a really nice green and the matron had knitted them for her.

Boots? Check. Okay, so maybe they were the sneakers she wore to school, but they were still pretty cool… right?

Cape. Double check. Her cape was the coolest thing ever. Not only was it the brightest orange she'd ever seen – it practically glowed in the dark – it even had Gary the Gorgonopsid on it.

Now all she had to do was go out there and show everybody how awesome she was – and she was really very awesome indeed. But that might be a bit tricky. Her parents had left her at their super secret base near the South Pole so she wouldn't get into any trouble. She wasn't sure how far the South Pole was from Eden City, but it was probably pretty far. It definitely looked that way on the map. They'd left her with her Aunt Vanille though, so maybe if she asked really nicely her Aunt Vanille could fly her back to Eden City.

But what if her Aunt Vanille didn't want to fly her to Eden City? Diana couldn't fly very fast at all yet, and her parents had sort of told her Aunt Vanille to keep an eye on her. Maybe if she asked really nicely, or what about if she gave her Aunt Vanille some candy? That could work –

The door behind her opened and Diana spun, ready to leap into action in case one of the bad guys had managed to sneak in. Only, it wasn't one of the bad guys. It was her Aunt Vanille and she was… she was laughing at her!

"Aunt Vanille!" Diana wailed. "Don't laugh at me!"

Vanille grinned. "Actually, I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing with you. There's a difference." She peered at Diana and tilted her head to one side. "You know, you look pretty cute, but what are you supposed to be exactly?"

Diana's eyes narrowed. Her Aunt Vanille was super smart so she really should be able to tell since it was really, really obvious. "I'm a superhero, just like my mom and my mommy," Diana said. She tugged at her cape. "See, I've even got a cape and everything."

"I see." Vanille had to stifle the urge to shield her eyes from the sheer brightness of Diana's orange cape. Honestly, everyone thought superhuman vision was awesome but sometimes… "So, what's your superhero name then?"

"Uh oh." Diana frowned. She hadn't thought of that, and she couldn't use her normal name either. Her parents always told her how important it was to keep their real names a secret. "Um… how about… Kid Awesome?"

"Kid Awesome?" Vanille grinned and gave Diana a pat on the head. The girl shot her a glare, but Vanille's grin only widened. Diana had a long, long way to go before she could glare like her mom. Claire's glare was something else. Even without her super powers, it would have been scary. "Well, I guess it's okay. After all, you are a kid, and you are pretty awesome."

Diana puffed out her chest. "I'm not pretty awesome, Aunt Vanille. I'm really awesome." She paused. "Wait… maybe I should call myself Kid Really Awesome then."

This time, Vanille couldn't quite stop herself from chuckling. "No, Diana, I think Kid Awesome is better." She gave Diana a serious look. "So, Kid Awesome, where are you going now?"

Glad that her aunt was taking her seriously, Diana gave Vanille what she assumed was a grave, serious look. In fact, it rather resembled a vaguely drunk looking puppy. "I'm going to go help my parents beat up the bad guys. We're going to go beat all them up, and then I'm going to go home and watch cartoons. Then I'll probably eat some candy. It'll be the best day ever."

Vanille sighed. Diana wanted so, so desperately to be a superhero just like her parents, but she had a long way to go before she was ready. "Sorry, Kid Awesome, but no can do. Your parents said you have to stay here with me." Diana's eyes dropped to the floor. Sighing again, Vanille reached down to tilt Diana's chin up so that they could see eye to eye. "Look, Kid Awesome, you parents love you very, very much and that's why they want you to stay here with me where it's safe. If something happened to you, they'd very, very sad and I'd get into a lot of trouble, and not even Ultragirl can fight off Ultrawoman and Lady Lightning at the same time."

Diana nodded. "Mom would probably hit you with lightning."

Vanille nodded back. "Yes, she most certainly would, and it would definitely hurt too."

Diana's looked away. "But it's boring here, and since Averia isn't here right now, I don't have anyone to play with." She looked at Vanille. "And mom said I can't go with you into your lab any more. She said it's too dangerous."

Vanille scratched the back of her head and gave a short, nervous laugh. "Well, we did sort of build a mechanical dragon the last time you were there." And then the dragon had gone on a rampage through the base until Vanille had finally been able to turn it off. Still, they'd kept the dragon, and once she'd sorted out all the kinks in its artificial intelligence, Diana had grown quite attached to it. Unfortunately, the dragon – codenamed Bahamut – was in for some routine maintenance, which meant that Diana couldn't play with it.

"Please, Aunt Vanille," Diana begged. "Can we go do something? Maybe we could fly around outside? Or… or maybe we could go dive and see if there are any whales around or something?"

"Now, now, no whining. Superheroes don't whine." Vanille looked at Diana and felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips. She couldn't take Diana outside, but maybe there was something they could do inside that the girl might find fun. Besides, she'd been meaning to do a little light training today… "You know what, maybe there is something we can do."

"Really?" Diana perked up. "What is it, Aunt Vanille?"

"Ultragirl." Vanille smiled. "If we're going to go on a mission together, then you need to call me Ultragirl, okay?"

Diana's grin was almost as bright as the sun. "Okay!" She had to keep from floating a few inches off the ground. "So, what's our mission Aunt – um, I mean, Ultragirl?"

Vanille looked around furtively. "It turns out that a few bad guys did manage to sneak into our base, but I know where they're hiding. Come with me. We need to go beat all of them up!"

Diana raised one mitten-covered fist. "Yeah!"

X X X

Fang, better known as Ultrawoman, glided to a stop inside the hangar. Beside her was Claire Farron, known to most of the world as Lady Lightning. The two of them had just come back from putting a stop to a particularly vicious group of criminals. The criminals had brought the centre of Eden City to a grinding halt with their advanced weaponry, but they might as well have been throwing popcorn for all the damage their weaponry did to Fang. And as for Claire… well, lightning tended to handle most things pretty nicely, and when that didn't work, punching someone through a wall usually did.

"What are you frowning about?" Fang asked as her wife looked over one of the nearby display units. "Claire?"

"According to this, Diana isn't in her room." Claire tapped a few buttons. "But at least she's not in Vanille's lab."

Fang chuckled. "Come on, it wasn't that bad. Besides, how many six year olds have their very own mechanical dragon? It's like a Christmas present and a birthday present rolled into one, and you have to admit, Bahamut does like her."

"Bahamut is a robot," Claire replied. "But I guess you're right, he does like her." How exactly that worked, she had no idea. According to Vanille, Bahamut was designed to behave like a real dragon and he had, for some reason or another, decided to like Diana. She looked back at the display unit. "According to this, Fang, they're in the training room."

"The training room?" Fang shrugged. "That's new. Let's go take a look. Maybe they're working on Diana's flying or something."

The training room was exactly what it sounded like. Using advanced Gran Pulse technology, Vanille had built a huge chamber capable of simulating almost any combat situation. Sure, Fang didn't think it wasn't quite as much fun as sparring with Claire, but then again, there wasn't too much that could compare to standing toe to toe with Lady Lightning. The other woman was one of the few people in the world who could actually hit Fang hard enough for her to feel it and damn if that lightning of hers didn't sting.

Still, neither Fang nor Claire were quite ready for what they walked into. The door of the training room opened with a hiss and then –

"Take this evildoer!" Diana cried as she punched right through the metal robot's head. Another robot came up behind her and she twisted to ram one foot through its stomach before she grabbed hold of its arm and heaved it into a wall. The robot hit the wall with a thump, sending up a shower of sparks. It also weighed close to three hundred pounds.

Not far away from Diana, Vanille was dealing with a few robots of her own, but considering the level of difficulty the robots were set to, she didn't really have to try at all. Catching sight of Fang and Claire, she gave them a cheeky grin and then fell to the ground.

"Agh, my leg!" Vanille shouted. "Help me, Kid Awesome!"

Diana turned and saw her beloved Aunt Vanille on the ground with one of the evil robots looming over her. "Don't worry, I'll save you, Ultragirl!"

Both Fang and Claire's eyes widened as Diana literally blurred across the room. The little girl flung herself at the robot and there was a clang as her shoulder caved in its chest. Still, the robot she'd hit was a little tougher than the ones she'd been fighting so far, so it managed to regain its balance. With a growl, Diana pulled away and kicked out at one of the robot's legs. The limb ripped off and as the robot toppled toward her, she grabbed hold of its head and tore it clean off. The robot flailed until another kick sent it across the room.

"Nice kick," Fang said, smirking.

Claire looked from her wife to her daughter, who was using the robot's head to… bash in the skull of another robot. "Fang, your daughter just ripped a robot's head off and now she's beating another robot to death with it. That doesn't disturb you just a little?"

Fang shrugged. "Not really. It is just a robot, and it's not like you can talk." Claire's eyes narrowed, but Fang just grinned. "Yes, Claire, I remember a certain someone who happens to go by the name Lady Lightning who once beat a robot to death with its own arms."

Claire glared. "It ripped my cape."

Fang rolled her eyes. "Claire, you get a new cape every time you summon your powers. It is not a big deal. Me? I have to ask Vanille to make me one."

Just then, Vanille got back to her feet. "Watch out, Kid Awesome! Behind you!"

Diana spun around and her eyes widened. One of the robots was spraying acid along the ground. Just looking at it, she knew the acid wouldn't really hurt her, but it would sting. Quickly, she leapt into the air, but the robot just kept spraying more acid. Oh no! At this rate she'd fall into it. Fly, she though. Fly. FLY!

And she did, even if it was pretty slowly, and pretty shakily too.

Grinning madly, she lurched through the air and put one fist through the robot's chest before it could do anything else.

"Good work, Kid Awesome," Vanille said. She looked around. The training simulation would be ending soon. "There's still a few left, but I think we can take them!"

Several minutes – and many dead robots – later, Kid Awesome and Ultragirl stood victorious on top of a pile of metal. As the training room began to repair itself, and more robots came out to repair and collect the ones they'd broken, Vanille reached over to give Diana a pat on the head. The girl had done pretty well for her first real training room simulation.

Clap.

Clap.

Clap.

"Mommy!" Diana shouted as she finally noticed Fang and Claire. "Mom!" In a flash, Diana had crossed the room and leapt into Fang's open arms. "Did you see, mommy? Did you?"

"I did." Fang grinned. "You really beat up those robots, didn't you?"

"Yeah!" Diana swung her fists through the air. "I totally punched them to bits." She gave Fang a hopeful look. "Maybe next time I can go with you and mom?"

"Sorry, Kid Awesome," Fang replied. "But you're not quite ready yet. But keep training like this and who knows? Now, how about we go get something to eat and I can tell you all about the bad guys your mom and I beat up today?"

As Fang carried Diana off to find some food, Claire stayed behind. Her eyes drifted over the mangled metal scattered across the room. It was a sobering reminder that her children weren't like other children. Not that she loved them any less because of that. They were hers, hers and Fang's, and she would always, always love them. Still, she would have to talk to Vanille about childproof the house a bit more. The last time the kids had gotten into a bit of a scuffle, they'd had to pull Diana out of the ceiling and dig Averia out of a wall.

"You know, Vanille, I should probably be mad at you," Claire murmured. "You probably should have run this by me or Fang first."

Vanille shrugged. "What can I say, Diana wanted to go out and have a little fun, and this was better than letting her run off after you two." She paused, a little more serious this time. "And you know she's going to follow in your footsteps. It's better to start early than late."

"Yes," Claire replied. She knew better than anyone how dangerous fighting crime could be. "That's why I'm saying thanks for doing this." She smiled. "Maybe it's time I started showing her some of the tricks of the trade."

Vanille smirked. "No problem – this was pretty fun, actually. Besides, where else can the world's mightiest six year old show off?"

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

So, here is the first of the omake that I've been tossing around. As mentioned above, this is set in some bizarre crossover universe combining Ordinary Heroes and Superhero. I would also like to point out that these omake are not all going to be related to each other. What I will be doing is putting a note before the story begins telling you what the omake is based on (like I did in this chapter). Also, given the nature of omake, I'll be writing these up as they pop into my head. Most of them will have a humorous tone, although there may be some hints of more serious issues (as in this chapter).

Finally, Superman really does have a super secret base (although a lot of people seem to know about it…). However, the exact location of the base varies, with some stories placing it in the Arctic and others locating it in the Antarctic. The base itself is called the Fortress of Solitude, but if Diana had her way, it would have been called the Fortress of Awesomeness.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	2. Once More With Feeling OH

**Note: This omake is set one week after the events of the first chapter of _Ordinary Heroes _(Giddy-up).**

X X X

**Once More With Feeling (Murderous Feeling)**

Lightning stood up and stretched. After what felt like forever, she had finally managed to finish her paperwork. Now, she could go and spend some time with the girls, who had spent the last half an hour or so working on something in their bedroom.

"Averia, Diana," Lightning shouted. "Are you almost done up there? If you are, we can go outside and play in the yard."

The sounds of a scuffle came from upstairs followed by someone growling.

"Yes, mom, we're done," Diana shouted back. "Just wait at the stairs."

More than a little curious, Lightning made her way over to the stairs. Her eyes widened. Making their way down the stairs in extremely ponderous fashion were Averia and Diana. The elder of the two was dressed up in a reasonably good approximation of Odin. As for Diana, the little girl was perched on her sister's back, a rolled up magazine in each hand.

"Be careful," Lightning said as she moved to the bottom of the stairs, ready to spring into action. "You might fall."

"No, we won't." Diana waved her 'swords' around. "Averia never falls over." She jerked back and forth, but somehow Averia managed to continue down the stairs without missing a beat. "See?"

Lightning breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "I see. You know, Averia, you have very good balance."

Averia poked her head out from beneath the white bed sheet that made up part of her Odin costume. She scowled. "Only because I'm always the one giving Diana a piggyback. One day, I'm going to make her give me a piggyback instead."

Diana whacked her sister over the head. "That's not fair! You're a lot bigger than me, so you have to be the one to give me a piggyback. I can't give you a piggyback until I'm bigger."

Averia's scowl deepened and she reached up to try and poke Diana in the cheek, but the little girl was quick to dodge, even going so far as to try and bite one of Averia's fingers. "You'll never be bigger than me."

"Yes, I will!" Diana shouted.

"So," Lightning said, cutting the pair off before their argument could really get going – Diana had always been a little touchy about her size, especially since both Lightning and Fang were reasonably tall for women. "Are you two playing Eidolon again?"

Diana glared down at her sister before nodding. "Yes. We had lots of fun playing last week, but then you and mommy got hurt, so we waited until you were better." She smiled sunnily. "Now, you can come play with us."

Lightning tried hard not to scowl. It wouldn't be fair to get annoyed with them. After all, it hadn't been Diana's fault that her demands for Lightning to ride Fang could be construed in other, less innocent terms. The girl had simply pointed out that in their game, Lightning was playing herself and Fang was playing Odin. Given that Lightning rode on top of Odin, it was only natural for Lightning to ride Fang during the game.

If anyone was to blame it was Fang. The other woman had teased Lightning mercilessly, and Lightning had felt compelled to get revenge – very pleasurable revenge. Unfortunately, that revenge had entailed a certain degree of… flexibility, and afterwards, both she and Fang had been forced to walk around like a pair of cripples. A week later, however, and she was fine.

"Okay," Lightning said. "Who will I be this time?"

"Mr Snaggles," Diana and Averia said together as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Bahamut?" Lightning pursed her lips. "I don't suppose you two have a costume for me."

Averia nodded. "It's upstairs in our room. It was a bit tricky to make since you're bigger than us, but it should fit." She plodded toward the door, Diana happily squirming the whole time. "We'll be outside."

Lightning went upstairs and took a moment or two to admire her children's handiwork. The 'costume' was a frightening mix of purple and black towels, cloths of the same shades, aluminium foil, and countless other things, like hangers. After a bit of fiddling – and a lot of help from a mirror – she finally managed to get the thing on. To her surprise though, she actually did look a bit like Fang's Eidolon.

By the time she got outside, Diana and Averia were already well into their game. Instead of bad guys, they were waging war on trees, shrubs, the front fence, and even the mailbox.

"Hey, mom," Diana said. "You look awesome."

Averia nodded. "I knew it would fit. Now, come play with us. We can see who's stronger, Mr Snaggles or Odin."

Personally, Lightning was absolutely sure that Odin was stronger, but she knew better than to say that out loud. The kids would tell Fang, and then she and Fang would argue, and then they'd probably have hot, angry, make up – wait… maybe she should tell the kids? She shook her head. No. Perhaps being married to Fang was beginning to get to her. Her mind had never wandered into the gutter that quickly before. "You know, this doesn't seem fair. It's you two against just me."

Diana frowned. "But you're our mom, so it's fair."

Lightning gave Diana a look. "Is that how it works?"

Averia nodded. "Well, you are sort of an adult, and you're a member of the Guardian Corps, and you have powers and stuff… maybe we should even get a few more kids on our team." She reached up to push Diana into a more comfortable position on her back. "But we're really brave, so we'll fight you – just the two of us." Her muscles tensed. "Get ready, mom. Here we come!"

X X X

Fang yawned. She'd never been a big fan of meeting, especially when she'd already covered everything in them before. Still, she was going to be leading another expedition into the mountains in a few weeks, so it was probably better to over prepare the people she'd be taking than under prepare them. The last thing she needed was for them to get lost, sick, or Maker forbid, eaten. She'd never had anyone eaten on one of her expeditions and she wasn't going to start now, not when there was so much paperwork involved.

As she got closer to her house, she paused. There was shouting coming from her front yard. She walked the rest of the way and then stopped to take a look. Diana and Averia were dressed as Lightning and Odin, and they seemed to be in the midst of an epic battle against a… small tree in the middle of the yard. The poor plant was taking a horrific beating from two rolled up magazines, the blows raining down as fast as Diana could swing her arms.

"Well, well, what are you two up to?" Fang drawled.

"Mommy!" Diana jabbed Averia in the side. "Go, Odin!"

Averia grumbled, but shambled over to Fang. "Hi, mommy."

"Playing Eidolon again?" Fang smirked as she remembered what had happened the last time the girls had played Eidolon. Teasing Lightning had been fun, but Lightning's revenge had been even better.

Diana grinned. "Yes. Do you want to play?"

Fang nodded, but Averia raised one hand to stop her. "Wait, you're late, mommy. You were supposed to be here for lunch."

Fang winced. Trust Averia to notice something like that. "Sorry about that."

Averia's eyes narrowed, but she nodded, and Fang winced again. Honestly, the girl could be a miniature Lightning sometimes. "I guess it's okay. But since you're late you have to be a bad guy." She looked up at Diana. "Get her!"

Fang's eyes widened before she was suddenly subjected to a barrage of magazine strikes. Quickly, she darted out of range, and studied her daughters closely. She hadn't expected Diana to be that fast with the rolled up magazines, and she definitely hadn't expected Averia to be so quick on her feet with Diana on her back.

"So… you two think you can beat your mommy, do you?" Fang smirked and beckoned them forward with one hand. "Bring it on!"

Diana smirked back. "We won't lose, mommy." She jabbed her loyal steed – sister – in the side. "Charge!"

But after a few minutes, it became obvious that despite their legendary skills, Diana and Averia were no match for Fang.

"You're too good, mommy." Averia frowned. "Diana, call for help."

Fang raised one eyebrow. "Help? Who exactly is your help?"

"You'll see, mommy." Diana reached into her pockets for a tennis ball and hurled it up into the air. "Mr Snaggles!"

It was a credit to Diana's enthusiasm that Fang half-expected to see her Eidolon materialise. However, she was very much not expecting confetti to rain down from a nearby tree as some weird purple, black, and silver thing flipped out of the branches. The thing spun through the air, twisting and turning, before finally landing on its feet. With a speed that Fang couldn't help but admire, the thing rounded on her and sprang forward.

"Get her, mom!" Diana shouted. "Uh, I mean, Mr Snaggles."

Fang stared. "Lightning?" she asked, not quite able to believe what she was seeing. "Is that you?"

There was a rustle from inside the mass of towels, cloth, and aluminium foil before Lightning's head poked out. "Yes, it's me."

"Mom!" Averia said. "Play properly." She pointed at Fang. "Mommy is one of the bad guys, we have to get her."

Lightning's eyes gleamed and she darted forward again. "With pleasure."

"Yeah!" Diana screamed at the top of her lungs. "Eat mommy, mom!"

Lightning tripped spectacularly, and it was only her incredible agility and reflexes that kept her from falling flat onto her face. Instead, she landed in a low crouch, her face bright red. Oh no, she thought, this was not happening again. This was not happening again.

But it was.

Fang's lips curved into a smirk and her eyes glittered. "What's the matter, Lightning? Don't you want to eat me?"

There was a pause. Lightning's eye twitched. With a roar, she leapt at Fang, and the two of them went down in a tangle of limbs.

"Cool!" Diana crowed as her Aunt Serah came out of her house next door to see what all the yelling was about. "I think mom is actually going to eat mommy right now!"

Averia tilted her head to one side. "No, I think she's going to strangle her."

And sure enough, Lightning had managed to get Fang into a chokehold. The dark haired woman's face had already begun to turn red.

"Do you think we should do something?" Diana asked. "Mommy's face is going all funny."

Averia shook her head and waved at her Aunt Serah, who gone back into her house and then come back out with a camera. "Mom's been teaching me about chokeholds. I don't think we need to do anything yet." Lightning's grip tightened and Fang's face turned an interesting shade of purple. "Okay… maybe we should do something."

X X X

The next morning, Fang hobbled down the stairs to eat breakfast with her family. Yesterday had been interesting, to say the least. Her meeting had been boring, but being strangled by Lightning was always interesting. Still, the highlight of her day had come later. The kids had pulled Lightning off her before she could do any real damage – not that Lightning would – and so the pink haired woman's anger had only continued to grow. An angry Lightning was always interesting to deal with, especially in the bedroom, and Fang had been more than happy to let her wife mete out whatever punishment she wanted.

She grinned. Lightning had practically attacked her the moment they were alone, and Fang had no problem letting the other woman take control. The only downside was how sore she was now, even if it was the best kind of sore.

"Hi, mommy," Diana said, barely looking up from the syrup encrusted pancake in front of her.

"Morning." Fang sat down and yawned, stretching to try and work some of the kinks out her back and neck.

Averia looked up from her pancake, a curious expression on her face. "Mommy, what's that on your neck?"

"My neck?" Fang reached down. Oh. If she remembered right, Lightning had bitten her. After all, an angry Lightning was a possessive Lightning, and a possessive Lightning was a very, very happy Fang. Heh. "Well…"

"It looks like someone bit you," Averia said. She put down her fork, a clear sign that she was curious. "Mommy?"

Fang grinned. Across the table, Lightning's face had first gone very pale before settling into what Fang liked to call Lightning-red. "Actually, it was your mom."

"Mom?" Diana put one more piece of pancake into her mouth and then looked at Lightning. "Did you really bite mommy?" Her eyes widened in horror. "Wait… did you try and eat her?"

Fang used Lightning's mortified silence to answer in her place. "Try? As a matter of fact –"

"Self-defence!" Lightning blurted, banging her mug of hot chocolate on the table. Her eyes blazed a warning at Fang: disagree and die. "Your mommy and I were sparring, and I bit her in self-defence."

Averia made a face. "That's weird."

Fang smirked. "Actually, it's not that strange. Let's say you're in a fight, and your arms and legs are pinned, sometimes, all you can do is bite. It's not exactly the most hygienic thing in the world, but it works." She shrugged. "Like if they've got you in arm bar, you could always just bite their leg."

"I guess." Averia gave Fang a sceptical look. "But what about there?" She pointed at Fang's collarbone where the shirt she was wearing had slipped down a little. "Did mom bite you there too?"

Fang met Lightning's eyes over the table. She loved to play with fire, and Lightning was as fiery as it got, even if on the outside, she could seem as cold as ice. "She may have."

"Wow." Diana climbed out of her chair to poke at Fang. "Did mom bite you anywhere else? Can you show me?"

Lightning reached over and put Diana back in her chair. "No is showing anyone anything." She glared at Fang. "And I'm not the only one biting people."

Averia looked at Lighting. Sure enough, her mom had some marks on her neck too. "You're right." She frowned. Her parents did this sometimes, usually her mommy. They'd talk and Averia was sure, really, really sure that she was missing something. Still, she knew better than to ask – she might find out, and knowing her mommy, it was probably something weird. Besides, she was pretty sure they weren't cannibals or anything, even if they did seem to like biting each other.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

So, this is kind of a companion piece to Giddy-up (Chapter One of _Ordinary Heroes_). I'm a little torn between actually saying this exists in the _Ordinary Heroes_ timeline, or simply writing it off as a completely separate omake. In the end, I'm still not sure – it kind of ended up here, because it's too short to go in _Ordinary Heroes_, and because it's it kind of pushes the line a little when it comes to characterisation (e.g., I'm not sure Lightning would go so far as to strangle Fang in front of the kids – she'd at least wait until they were out of the room).

On an unrelated note, I now have a blog. See the author's notes in chapter one for details. My next post on the blog is probably either going to be on humour or dialogue. Let me know which one you'd prefer.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	3. Old Enemies, New Friends SF

**Note: This is set after the end of _Stetsons and Fal'Cie_ **

X X X

**Old Enemies, New Friends**

Jihl didn't think too much of drinking, but she had a lot on her mind. She'd spent the last few years of her life chasing someone only to have them just up and die on her. She snarled. That whole mess with Cocoon had been the worst sort of business, the kind that really got folks talking, and not in a good way. But some of that talk had gotten to her. There was Yaag, and then there was the Bahamut Bandit.

She shook her head. Yaag… he'd been a good man once, a little wild sometimes, but she hadn't figured him the kind of man to get mixed up with Barthandelus. Sure, she wasn't exactly perfect, but there were lines even she wouldn't cross. He'd been a friend of hers, a good one, and knowing he'd gone bad was like a lead weight in her stomach.

Then there was the bandit.

She growled and banged her hand down on the counter of the bar. The bartender hustled over. She was a real pretty young woman with long black hair and eyes the colour of whiskey. Still, Jihl didn't like the look on her face one bit. It made her feel like a cheap drunk, and damn it she wasn't drunk yet, not by a long shot. Besides, she didn't want anybody's pit. She was Jihl Nabaat, and damn it, that still had to count for something!

"I think maybe you've had enough," the bartender said.

Jihl looked up and glared. "I'll tell you when I've had enough." She waved one hand. "Get me another bottle of whiskey." The bartender's eyes hardened. "Look," Jihl murmured. "I'm not looking to cause trouble. I'm just… I'm just… drinking, drinking to a…"

"A friend?" the bartender asked, her eyes softening a touch.

Jihl laughed softly. "I wouldn't say we were friends."

"I see." The bartender sighed. "I'll get you another, but I'm warning you, marshal or not, I'll throw you out if make trouble."

"Seems fair." Jihl waited for the next bottle of whiskey and then poured herself another glass. How many was that now? She wasn't sure.

The whiskey went down real smooth. That damn bandit! She'd put some much time into catching her, and she'd been damn close too. If that stupid partner of hers hadn't shown up, she'd have got her. Jihl had been right angry for a long time after that, just chomping at the bit to try again. She'd been sure – damn sure – she'd get another chance. But now the Bandit was gone, buried in some hole in the ground near the Al Bhed.

And Jihl… Jihl wasn't sure quite what to do with herself. Sure, she'd pulled jobs since then, even collared a few bandits, but it just wasn't the same. She wanted a challenge. She wanted the thrill of not knowing if she'd win. The Bandit shouldn't have died like that. They were supposed to settle things good and proper, just the two of them.

Just then, someone else pushed through the doors of the saloon. Jihl could hear the doors slapping back and forth, but she didn't bother to turn. In a town place Bodhum, there wasn't a single person worth a damn except maybe Farron, and she and Farron had never gotten along too well. With this much liquor in her, Jihl wouldn't have stood a chance anyway. Heck, Farron would probably drop her before she even cleared the holster. Still, maybe she should swing by Farron's place later. The word was, Farron had finally gotten herself a deputy, and folks said that deputy of hers was real tough, the kind of woman who could actually keep up with Farron. Jihl shook her head. There weren't many like that around, and most of them were on the wrong side of the law.

"Evening Lebreau." There was something familiar about that voice, Jihl thought, as someone sat down at the bar, a few stools over. "Mind getting me some whiskey? I've had a good spell of trouble today, and I could use something to drink."

The bartender – Lebreau – laughed, light and easy. "You sure that's a good idea, Fang? Last I heard, Farron doesn't like you coming home late. The way folks tell it, she keeps you on a mighty short leash – not that you seem to mind too much."

The other woman – Fang – chuckled, and again Jihl couldn't shake the sense that she knew her from somewhere. Even so, she didn't bother to look up. She had whiskey to drink, and she didn't give a damn about what Farron was doing. If the woman wanted to shack up with some floozy that was her business.

"Seems like there's a lot of talk about the two of us," Fang said. There was a rustle of cloth and Jihl heard this Fang woman settle down on the stool next to her. "Say, what's got a fine marshal like you drinking so much?"

Jihl's eyes narrowed. She wasn't going to take talk like that from some middle of nowhere hick. She turned, an insult on her lips and then froze. "You!" She jerked off her stool, nearly tripping as she reached for her pistol.

Before Jihl could draw her pistol, a strong hand clamped down on her wrist. Damn it, all that liquor was making her slow, and even worse it was making her weak. If she were sober, she'd have nailed the other woman by now, or at the very least, broken free. She growled. She was a damn fool. She should have known there was no way the Bahamut Bandit would die so easily, and now she was paying the price. If the Bandit wanted to settle things right here, Jihl doubted she could stop her.

"Easy." Fang tapped the star on her chest. "It's not polite pulling a gun on a deputy."

"A deputy?" Jihl tried to pull her hand free, but Fang's grip refused to budge. "What kind of fool talk is that?"

Fang's eyes narrowed just a little, those green eyes as keen as razors. "You can sit down, marshal, or I'll put you down, it's your call. The fact of the matter is, I am a deputy here, and I won't think twice of throwing you in a cell."

Jihl growled. Fang's damn eyes were just about glowing, and those lips of hers had curled up into a smirk she remembered all too well. But from the way everyone else was acting, Jihl could tell she was in a tight spot. These folks, they were acting like they knew Fang, like Fang really was a deputy. She'd have to bide her time then, play it cool for a spell. "Fine."

"Good." Fang let go of Jihl. "Now, how about you sit down and have a drink with me, or do we need to go outside and finish up?" She grinned. "Honestly, if I were you, I'd have a drink. You're in no condition to fight."

Jihl made a disgusted sound. Fang was right and she knew it. Still, if they were going to drink, then maybe they could talk, and she had a lot of questions. "So… it's Fang, is it?"

Fang grinned. "That's my name." She slanted a wry look at Jihl. "But you know, the Bahamut Bandit really did die out there."

"You're retired then." Jihl's eyes narrowed. "And you really think I'll stop chasing you?"

"You're a lot of things, marshal, some of which I won't say in polite company, but you're not stupid." Fang poured them both some more whiskey. "You're also a good woman too when it comes right down to it." She smirked again at the look on Jihl's face. "I've asked Lightning about you, Quistis too. You might bend the law sometimes, but you know which side of it you're on. You know what justice is."

"What's that got to do with anything?" JIhl was just itching to do something, but there wasn't a thing she could do. Fang was fast on the draw, fast enough to drop her if she went for her gun, and even if she did get the jump on the other woman, she had a feeling that Lebreau had a shotgun under the counter, a shotgun she wouldn't hesitate to turn on Jihl. Whoever Fang was now, Bodhum seemed to like her.

"Oerba," Fang said, and Jihl almost flinched at the old pain she saw in the other woman's eyes. "My real name is Oerba Yun Fang."

It took a few moments for the words to really sink in. There'd been talk about Oerba during the trial, about all the things that Barthandelus and Hojo had done. A whole tribe wiped out, burned alive for nothing more than a profit. It made Jihl sick to her stomach. "Maker…" she breathed. "No wonder you hated Cocoon so much."

Fang nodded. "That's about right." She smiled teasingly. "And that's why I know you're not going to say anything about this to anyone." She held Jihl's gaze. "Am I reading you about right?"

Jihl's hand tightened on her glass so much she was afraid it might break. There was a part of her that wanted to reach over and just knock Fang's damn teeth in. The woman had robbed who knew how many places, and she'd found a way to get away with it too. But she hadn't done it for nothing. If anything, she had a pretty good reason.

And Fang hadn't been some two-bit killer. The Bahamut Bandit had robbed places, sure, but they'd been Cocoon's places, and she'd never shot anyone she didn't have to. Damn, Jihl thought, it hurt her head just to think about all this. What a mess.

"You know," JIhl drawled, downing another whiskey. "I think I hate you."

Fang chuckled. "Fair enough, but I figured you I owed you an explanation or two." She glanced down at her whiskey. "After all, out of all the marshals they sent after me, you were the only who even got close. It was fun, I guess, having someone with a head on their shoulders coming after me."

"That so?" Jihl felt a little better, somehow. She'd come the closest to catching Fang. She'd been the best. Still, there were some things she needed to know. "Say, that time I almost got you in the Vestige, how'd you get away?"

Fang grinned. "If we're going to be talking about old times, we might need some more whiskey." She waved Lebreau over. "As for how I got away. Well, it was like this…"

X X X

Fang sighed and glanced at the boarding house one last time before she turned and headed off. It'd been fun shooting the breeze with Jihl. They'd had their fair share of run-ins over the years, and most of them had been fun. It was even more fun talking about them, now that she didn't have to worry about the marshal blowing a hole in her.

It was real interesting listening to Jihl too. The woman was surly and a bit grouchy, but only half of that was her, the other half of it was the whiskey. Besides, it had been pretty nice to hear about things from the other side. Maybe the best part was listening to Jihl talk about some of the cases she was doing now. She'd even asked Fang for advice. After all, who better to catch a bandit than another bandit?

They'd talked for a good long while before Jihl had finally dropped. Turned out, she couldn't handle her liquor as well as Fang could, that and she'd been going for a while already by the time Fang showed up. It had been pretty tempting to let Jihl sleep it off in one of the cells in the sheriff's office, but Fang had decided to just carry Jihl back to the boarding house she was staying at. There'd be less trouble that way, and the last thing she needed was to give Jihl a new reason to go after her.

And that was maybe the funniest thing of all. Fang was dead certain Jihl wouldn't be coming after her anymore. Sure, she had a feeling that she'd be seeing the marshal again, maybe to talk about old times, maybe to pick a fight, or maybe even to ask for more advice, but the marshal wouldn't be looking to arrest her. Even if Jihl would never say it out loud, they both knew she'd have done the same in Fang's place. They might not be friends now, but they respected each other, and that counted for a lot when it came to people like them. Besides, as far as the law was concerned, the Bahamut Bandit was dead.

Her only problem now was, she was running late. Lightning wouldn't be too happy, but Fang figured she had a pretty good excuse this time. She paused, eyes drifting to the porch of a nearby store. The place was closed up on account of it being so late, but she could feel eyes watching her from the shadows. There was only one person in Bodhum who could sneak up on her like that.

"You mind maybe stepping out of there so we can talk face to face, Lightning?" Fang asked.

Lightning peeled out of the shadows. "You two were looking awfully cosy in the saloon, Fang."

Fang slanted a look at the other woman, a ghost of a smile on her lips. It was always fun trying to read Lightning right, and even now there were times when she couldn't quite do it. "You feeling a tad jealous, sheriff?"

Lightning walked over, cool and calm and easy, and stopped just shy of Fang. They were so close now that Fang could almost feel the other woman against her. "And why would I be jealous, deputy?"

"Well, I kind of figured you would be." Fang smirked. "Takes a pretty confident person not to worry when someone's chasing their woman."

Lightning's lips curled. "Then it's a good thing that I'm a pretty confident person – and that you're my woman, Fang. Mine." She leaned forward until there lips were almost touching. "And she can chase you all she wants, Fang. She'll never catch you."

Fang eased back, keeping a hair's breadth between them. The two of them were fighting, only it wasn't with the guns, and it was the kind of fight where both of them could end up winning. "And how do you figure that?"

Lightning reached up and with deliberate slowness draped her arms around Fang's neck. Her next words were a whisper, spoken for just the two of them, almost lost in the kiss that followed. "Because, Fang, I've already caught you."

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

So… someone asked for a _Stetsons and Fal'Cie_ omake and here it is. Seriously though, I've had a few ideas bouncing around in my head for a while now, and this is the one that rose to the top. It's been a while since I've finished _Stetsons and Fal'Cie_, but I have to admit, I kind of miss it sometimes. Maybe one of these days I'll get around to writing a sequel or something (although, _Headed West_ probably should get one first, considering its been waiting longer).

Probably my favourite part of this chapter is letting Jihl meet Fang again. Jihl's spent a long time chasing Fang, so I figured she could use some closure, especially since I think they could have been friends under different circumstances. Sure, they'd be antagonising each other the whole time, and they'd probably try and kill each other at least once, but I think they could be friends.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	4. All Mixed Up WG X OH

**Note: This involves characters from_ Whispers of the Gods_ and _Ordinary Heroes_. Technically speaking, the characters from _Whispers of the Gods_ are from the past (i.e., from before the events of Chapter 1, but after the events of Chapter 8).**

**X X X**

**All Mixed Up**

Fang yawned and curled up against Lightning. The morning sun was coming through the window, but she did her best to ignore it. It was a Saturday morning, and the kids were sleeping over at Serah and Snow's house with Claire, which meant that for the time being, it was just her and Lightning.

There were so many possibilities.

Deciding to start things slow – they had the house to themselves until the evening – she let her hands wander from Lightning's waist over to some more… interesting parts of the other woman's body. Lightning shifted slightly in her sleep, and then settled. Fang grinned. After years of marriage, she knew just how and where to touch Lightning. Just a little more and Lightning would wake up, and when she did, Fang would pounce.

But that was not what happened.

Lightning stiffened and before Fang knew what was happening, she was sailing through the air. She hit the far wall of the bedroom with enough force to leave a dent in it and then crashed to the floor. She got up onto her hands and knees, tasting blood, and shook her head. It was one thing to be a little grumpy at being woken up, but this was a little too violent, even for Lightning.

"What was that for?" Fang growled as she looked over at the pink haired woman. "I was just…"

She trailed off. There was something very, very different about Lightning. Instead of the baggy t-shirt she'd worn to bed, Lightning was now dressed in a flowing white garment that seemed almost to glow. But that wasn't the only difference. Fang had always thought that Lightning was beautiful, but the woman in front of her now was inhumanly lovely. Everything about her, from her features, to the colour of her eyes and hair, all of it held some unearthly perfection. This Lightning was less a woman, and more a goddess, and the air was heavy with a raw power that made Fang want to drop to her knees or look away.

"Who are you?" Lightning asked, and her voice seemed to fill the entire room. Fang swallowed thickly and found herself struggling just to breathe. "And how dare you lay your hands on me."

Fang pressed herself against the wall. She had never, ever been truly afraid of Lightning, but right now every instinct in her body was telling her to run. This woman might look like Lightning, but Fang was absolutely certain that this was not the woman she'd married and raised two lovely children with. "How about you tell me who you are?"

Lightning's eyes narrowed and little arcs of electricity crackled around her. The scent of ozone filled the air and Fang winced. Despite her namesake, Lightning had never been able to do that. "Do not test my patience, mortal." She paused and Fang had to fight the urge to run as the full weight of Lightning's gaze came to rest on her. It was like staring into eternity. "Or perhaps you are not a mortal. No mortal would dare steal the shape of the Fang of the Heavens." She lifted one hand. "Such a crime is not something that I can ignore."

There was an ear-splitting boom before a jagged bolt of lightning ripped through the roof of the house. It struck Lightning and Fang reeled away. When it cleared, the floor around Lightning had been scorched black, and Lightning was no longer dressed in the strange, flowing garment. Instead, she was dressed in intricate crystal armour, a cloak the colour of freshly spilt blood draped over her shoulders.

"You will speak," Lightning said. "And you will tell me what is happening. Otherwise, I will kill you where you stand."

Fang tensed. There was no doubt whatsoever in Lightning's voice. She meant every word she'd said. As the seconds passed, Fang wracked her brains for something, anything that could explain what was happening. Had something happened to Lightning? Perhaps the fal'Cie had done something, or maybe Etro? Whatever it was, she wasn't about to just stand here and be threatened. She needed to know what had happened to Lightning, and if that meant dealing with the woman in front of her, that's what she'd do.

Fang shifted her weight forward and then lunged.

Then she slammed back into the wall, held a few inches off the ground. Sweet Maker, she hadn't even seen Lightning move.

"That was most unwise," Lightning murmured, holding Fang up against the wall with one hand around her throat. Fang lashed out, punching and kicking, but the blows didn't seem to have any effect at all. "If you will not speak, then I will take the knowledge from your mind."

Fang's eyes widened and then the world fell away. She was lost in her own mind, some great, terrible force bearing down on her. She tried to hold it off, to shove it back, but it was relentless, a tidal wave of raw power that smashed through every single one of her defences until it reached her memories and dragged them out into the open.

Suddenly, it stopped. Fang dropped to the ground as Lightning lurched back.

"This cannot be," Lightning growled. She looked at Fang. "Your memories cannot be real."

Fang rubbed at her throat. Lightning's hands had felt like steel. "What do you mean?"

"I see another Lightning in your memories," Lightning murmured. "You two are… are wedded. You have children." Her jaw tightened. "And you are mortals, both of you."

Fang groaned and got back onto her feet, eyeing the other woman cautiously. "And you're not?"

"No, I am not." Lightning's eyes shone with inhuman power. "I am a god."

Fang stared. Oh. "A god?" she murmured. "A god?" She chuckled softly and then looked around, half-expecting Vanile and Diana to jump out and declare the whole thing some kind of crazy prank. "No… you can't be. Because if you're a god then that means Lightning – my Lightning – is somewhere else." She had to force herself to breathe normally. "Who are you?"

"I am the goddess Lightning, the Blade of the High Mother, the Sword of the Heavens." Lightning's voice seemed to come from everywhere at once. "And you are right, I am not your Lightning, and this is not my world."

Fang swallowed thickly and then cursed. Damn that hurt. "How did you get here?"

Lightning glared and Fang found herself backing away. That glare was something else, even compared to her Lightning's glares.

"I do not know," Lightning said. "But I will found out." She paused, studying Fang closely, and her voice softened just a fraction. "Still, perhaps I was wrong to strike you. You must have thought that I was your wife."

Fang made a face. Typical, even a divine version of Lightning hated to apologise. "Well, you are sort of similar." She frowned. "Is there anyway you can find out how you got here?"

Lightning nodded. "The High Mother should know." She closed her eyes for a second and then frowned deeply before looking back at Fang. "This is… impossible. I cannot feel the presence of the High Mother."

"I don't know who this High Mother is," Fang said. "But I think we should probably talk about this. You want to get home, and I want to get my Lightning back."

Lightning stiffened at the mention of the High Mother. Slowly, she looked around the room. There was a large hole in the ceiling along with a blackened patch on the floor. "Perhaps you are right. But we should talk in another room."

Fang nodded slowly. What did it say about her life that this might not even be the weirdest thing that had ever happened to her? Still, she'd get her Lightning back, and she'd do it before the kids got home too. She could only hope that wherever her Lightning was, she was okay.

X X X

Meanwhile in a world, far, far away…

"Calm down, Lightning," Fang said as Bahamut leaned down to peer at the other goddess. "You're acting like you've never met Bahamut before."

Lightning's eyes were locked onto the huge dragon in front of her. "I've met Bahamut, and that… that thing doesn't look anything like him." She scowled. "And where am I? The last thing I remember was the two of us in bed and…"

"Wait," Fang said before she hopped off Bahamut's head and flew – Maker, since when had Fang been able to fly? – over to Lightning. "We've never shared a bed."

And that, even more than the huge dragon with the extremely toothy smile, told Lightning that somehow, something had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

So… I've always been kind of curious to know what would happen if some of my characters from different universes ran into each other. This is just a way of scratching that particular itch. I had considered letting Lightning (from _Whispers of the Gods_) meet the kids, but I thought that might end up getting a little too crazy. Out of the two, I think Lightning (from _Ordinary Heroes_) probably has the better deal, since Fang (from _Whispers of the Gods_) is pretty easy to get along with. In contrast, Fang (from _Ordinary Heroes_) has to deal with Lightning (from _Whispers of the Gods_). Obviously though, this chapter is not part of either story.

This was also a nice chance to do a bit of speed writing, since I wanted to push myself to see how quickly I could draft this and then get a decent final version up. I won't say how long it took, but I am reasonably happy. I think everyone should try speed writing at least once or twice. Give yourself an hour or two to write something and then just go for it, no matter how bad it is. You'd be surprised by some of the ideas that come up, and if there are any good ones, you can always go back and revise them later.

For people waiting on updates for other stories, don't worry. Those are in the pipeline, but at the moment, I'm clearing a bit of a backlog of omake. I've also got a two hour long lecture to prepare, so I have a number of things on my proverbial plate.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	5. Lightning Begins SH

**Note: This chapter is set in an alternative version of _Superhero_.**

X X X

**Lightning Begins**

"Give it back, Claire! Give it back!"

Claire Farron giggled and danced out of her sister's reach, a doll held in one hand. "You have to catch me first, Serah!"

As her sister gave a cry of outrage, Claire turned and raced out into the garden. Serah was right on her heels though, and Claire leapt up onto the wooden cover of an old well right at the edge of the garden.

"Give me back my doll, Claire!" Serah cried before she realised just what Claire was standing on. "You shouldn't stand on that, father says it's dangerous."

Claire pouted. She was going to give her sister's doll back anyway, but it would have been fun to run around a bit more first. "It's not that dangerous," she said, tapping her foot on the cover of the well. "See, Serah –"

Crack.

The wooden cover broke and suddenly Claire was falling. She landed with a thump and felt tears prickle at the corner of her eyes. Her back hurt, and so did her legs. With a groan, she got to her feet, but there didn't seem to be anyway of climbing back up.

"Claire!" Serah shouted. "Claire, are you okay?"

Claire winced and nodded. "I think so." She looked up. How deep was the well? She could barely even see Serah. "Get father, Serah. Quick!"

Serah nodded back and then ran. "Just stay there. I'll get him."

Serah had been gone for only a few minutes when an ominous rumble came from the sky. Claire looked up and her mouth went dry. Above her, the sky had gone dark, and she could already feel the first drops of rain tumbling down. Seconds later, there was a flash and a bolt of lightning streaked through the sky. Then there was thunder, thunder so loud the whole well shook, and it took everything she had to keep from crying.

"What's taking so long?" she whispered as sat down and pulled her knees up to her chest. The rain had begun to come down in thick sheets and with each moment that passed, the thunder and lightning grew stronger. Close to tears, she closed her eyes and covered her ears. Please, just let it all go away.

Some time later – Claire had lost all track of time – a shout came from the top of the well. She looked up. Her father was there. She bit back a sob as he set a rope up and came down to get her, and despite how much she hated crying, the moment he reached her, she threw her arms around him and sobbed. There had been so much rain, so much thunder and lightning, and she'd been trapped, trapped in the bottom well with nowhere to go and everything had been so loud.

"It's all right, Clare," her father murmured as he carried her out of the well. His voice was gentle, but strong, and he was so warm. "I've got you. You're safe."

But even as he said the words, Claire saw another bolt of lightning split in the sky. In its wake came a blast of thunder so great that even her father's arms could not keep it away.

Later that week, the Farron's went to see the premiere of a new movie. Her family's company had sponsored its production, and the special effects were supposed to be state of the art, a new benchmark in realism. Unfortunately, those special effects happened to include what felt like an hour's worth of fighting in the middle of a storm.

Even with her parents only an arm's length away, Claire began to feel ill. There was so much rain in the movie, and as she watched, a storm rolled in. Thunder and lightning filled the theatre, so real that it took her breath away. She swallowed thickly and clutched at the armrest. She wanted to go. She didn't want to be here. But her parents were enjoying the movie and so was her sister, but there was so much lightning and… and…

"Are you all right, Claire?" her father asked.

Claire nodded mutely.

He looked at her and his eyes softened. "It's all right." He leaned over and whispered to her mother. "I'm feeling a little ill. It must have been something I ate. Do you think we could leave?"

Her mother seemed surprised, but after a quick glance at Claire, she nodded. "All right. We can always come back and see the movie another time."

Quietly, the four of them left the cinema. With the press watching the front entrance, her father decided to lead them around the back. It would be quicker that way, and with any luck, they'd be able to keep out of the papers.

As for Claire, she was more concerned about the sky. It was dark outside, but it was drizzling, and the air felt heavy the way it always did before a storm. She was so concerned about what was happening above her, that she never even noticed the man at the end of alley – not until he stepped forward with a gun in his hand.

What happened next would be forever burnt into her soul. The man asked for money and then grabbed at her mother's purse. Her father stepped forward and there was a bang and a flash – thunder and lightning – and then her father was falling, falling, falling and his shirt was wet with something other than rain. Her mother screamed, and then she was falling too. Then the man was gone with her mother's purse clutched in his hands.

She dropped to her knees beside her parents. Their eyes were open, but they couldn't see, not anymore. Serah was beside her, and she was crying – crying, and crying, and crying. And high above them the skies were crying too. The rain fell, and when the thunder and lightning came, she barely noticed. Instead, she could only hold Serah and stare blankly at her mother and father. It was her fault. If only she hadn't been so scared… if only… if only…

The first person to reach them was a policeman. He said his name was Amodar, and he'd been drawn by the gunshots. He was the one who got them out of the rain. He was the one who closed her parent's eyes for the last time.

The days would pass and everyone would say how tragic it was that Claire and Serah had lost both their parents in one night. Nobody, not even Serah noticed that their parents weren't the only ones to die that night. That night, the little girl named Claire had died as well.

X X X

Years would pass, and while Serah stayed in Bodhum City and studied, Claire travelled the world. She learned that the world was not a good place, that it was not fair, or just, or decent. What had happened to her happened every day to more people than she could imagine. The only way to stop it, the only way to make the world a good place, a fair place, a just, and decent place, would be for someone to make it that way. She would be that someone.

She learned how to fight, to survive, and in a desolate mountain range far from Bodhum City, she learned how to become more than a woman – she learned how become a hero, a legend. She learned from those who walked in the shadows, from those who shared her hatred of evil. And when she had learned as much as she could, those teaching her made her face her fear, forced her make it a part of her.

They took her out onto the mountainside and they waited until a storm broke. There, with the storm raging all around them, they sought to kill her. If she lived, she was worthy. If she died, she was not. She let the fear flow through her, let it overwhelm her, and then she crushed it beneath the weight of her purpose. There was no room for fear in her heart, no place for weakness in her soul. She fought. And she won. And so, she was worthy.

And then went back to Bodhum to the life she'd left behind, and a sister she now barely knew. People called her Claire, but that wasn't her name, not anymore. For centuries men had feared lightning, had feared it for its sudden, ruthless power. It was divine judgement. Well, she had it feared it as well, but no longer. Now, she was the lightning.

X X X

Lightning limped away from Serah and reached for her costume.

"Why does it have to be you, Claire?" Serah shouted. She'd known right from the start that there was something different about her sister, but until she'd seen it with her own eyes, she'd never imagined that Claire was Lightning, the cold, merciless vigilante. "You're killing yourself." She bit back a sob, remembering how she'd found Claire passed out in her bed, the sheets soaked with blood. "I've seen the bruises, Claire, I've had to bandage and stitch the cuts. Tell me, why does it have to be you? Why do you have to fight them?"

Lightning tugged on her mask and turned. "You don't understand."

Serah grabbed Lightning's wrist. "You're right! I don't understand!" She blinked back tears. "I don't understand why the only family I have left is out there fighting a battle she can't possibly win. You've given them enough, Claire. You've done more enough. They don't deserve anything else, not from you."

Lightning gently pulled out of Serah's grasp and then reached up to cup Serah's cheek with one hand. "It's not a question of what they deserve," Lightning murmured. "It's a question of what I'm willing to give."

"And what are you willing to give?" Serah asked. She'd seen the news. She'd seen entire blocks of the city ablaze as a madman brought his terrible vision to life.

Lightning smiled softly, sadly, and then turned away. "To make sure no one ever suffers the way we did? Everything. Serah. Everything."

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

Okay, when I was first tossing around ideas for _Superhero_, I wasn't sure exactly who to base Lightning on, and what sort of tone that I wanted. This is sort of an alternate universe to _Superhero_, a much darker one in which Lightning is based on Batman. This chapter, as you can probably tell, is modelled quite closely on the recent Batman trilogy (Batman Begins, the Dark Knight, and the Dark Knight Rises).

On an unrelated note, I haven't stopped working on my other stories, but due to various issues, I haven't had as much time as I would like to sit down and just get something done. As it is, I had to sort of churn this out in a little less than an hour (although I did have a rough draft to work off). Still, once things clear up, it will, hopefully, be business as usual. Also, I finally got around to seeing Fate/Zero. Yes! It was awesome. It also happened to set some plot bunnies bounding around in my brain. There are more than enough similarities between Lightning and Saber for me to work with… but I should probably leave that until later. Oh well, it might pop up briefly in an omake or something until I've got the time to do it properly.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	6. Once Chubby Chocobo OH

**Note: This is set in the same universe as _Ordinary Heroes_ and _Tell Me a Story_. Timeline wise, it can fit almost anywhere.**

X X X

**One Chubby Chocobo…**

Diana glared across the table at Averia. She loved her sister more than almost anyone in the whole world. Whenever she was lonely, or scared, or even just bored, Averia was there for her. But that didn't mean she liked everything about Averia. Averia was faster than her, stronger than her, and smarter than her too. Normally that didn't both her much – since having an awesome sister was really awesome – but lately, Averia had been winning all of their games. But this time… this time, Diana was sure she would win.

"Are you ready to lose?" Diana asked as she reached for the bowl in the middle of the table.

Averia lifted her chin. "I'm not going to lose." She smirked. "I got to sixteen. There's no way you'll beat that."

"I will too beat that." Diana scowled and waved one fist. "Just you watch."

Diana reached into the bowl for the first marshmallow. It was a nice, fluffy, pink one, the same colour as her mother's hair. Then, she all but shoved the marshmallow into her mouth, careful not to actually swallow it.

"One chubby chocobo," Diana growled. She reached for a second marshmallow and then a third, and put those into her mouth as well. "Two chubby chocobos. Three chubby chocobos."

Averia rolled her eyes. "You've still got a long way to go."

"I know that." Diana reached for more marshmallows. "But I'm just getting started."

And she was.

Fourteen marshmallows later, Diana looked more like a chipmunk than a little girl. Her cheeks had puffed out, and she was struggling just to keep her mouth closed.

"Seventeen…" She grimaced and fought to keep the marshmallows in her mouth. "Seventeen chubby chocobos!"

Averia stared. "No way." She shook her head slowly. "That's… that's impossible." Gingerly, she reached over to poke Diana in the cheek. "Are you sure you didn't swallow any?"

"I'm sure," Diana said, her words barely intelligible through all the marshmallows. "I won fair and square." She reached for one more marshmallow, just to rub it in. After a bit of fiddling, she finally managed to get it into her mouth. "See? Eighteen chubby chocobos."

Averia scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine, you win."

Diana grinned as best she could. "And?"

"And I'll let you sleep in my bed tonight and tomorrow." Averia looked away. "But only if you stop poking me in the eyes with your hair, and only if you don't steal all the blanket."

Diana punched the air in victory. It was the middle of winter and although a heater was nice, snuggling up to Averia was much better. "Cool."

Averia sighed and reached over to give Diana an awkward pat on the head. "Good work, I guess." She paused. "But now what you going to do? Are you going to try and swallow those? If you do, you'd better be careful, otherwise you'll choke and we'll be in lots of trouble."

Diana's eyes widened. She'd been so focused on winning – and breathing – that she hadn't even thought about that. It had taken Averia several tries to swallow her marshmallows, and Diana had even more to worry about. Steeling herself, she tried to swallow and then stopped. It was no good. She'd choke for sure. So, what to do? Ah ha! She grabbed an empty bowl and began spitting out the marshmallows.

Averia's nose wrinkled. "That's gross."

"What, do you want me to choke?" Diana spat out the last of the marshmallows.

"Of course I don't want you to choke." Averia eyed the bowl of rather dubious marshmallows, some of which looked quite… slimy. "Are you really just going to leave those there?"

"No." Diana grinned and cheerfully grabbed one of the marshmallows. "I don't like wasting candy."

Averia shuddered. "I can't believe you're actually going to eat those."

Diana shrugged. "Well, they were in my mouth, so it's okay." She offered Averia the bowl. "Why, do you want one?"

"NO!" Averia sighed. "Just… keep those to yourself."

Diana had just finished the last of her regurgitated marshmallows when Fang ambled into the dining room. She'd spent most of the afternoon outside helping Lightning clear snow off the roof, and now she'd be sent to grab the two of them some hot chocolate and marshmallows. However, rather than going straight to the kitchen to make the hot chocolate, she paused as she noticed her two daughters staring intently at one another over a large bowl of marshmallows.

"What are you two doing?" Fang asked.

Diana looked over and smiled. "We're playing, mommy. We came up with this really awesome game." Her smile widened. "Averia was winning before, but I tried really hard, and now I'm winning."

"That's great." Fang chuckled softly. The girls loved challenging each other, and so long as they kept it friendly, she had no problems with it. "So, what is this game of yours?"

Averia picked up a marshmallow. "It's like this." She put the marshmallow into her mouth. "You put marshmallows in your mouth and then you count. I've got one in my mouth now, so I have to say 'one chubby chocobo'." She put a second marshmallow into her mouth. "Now it's 'two chubby chocobos', and whoever can fit the most into their mouth wins."

Fang stared. "That's…" Stupid beyond measure? Insanely idiotic? Absolutely, typically crazy? "One of the coolest things I've ever seen." She sat down beside Diana. "Here, let me try." She reached for a marshmallow. "What was the record?"

"Eighteen," Diana chirped. "That's how many I got."

"Eighteen, huh?" Fang grinned. "That sounds pretty good. But don't get too confident, kiddo. You might have beaten your sister, but I'm your mommy. I'll be a lot tougher to beat." She put the marshmallow into her mouth. "One chubby chocobo!"

X X X

Lightning somersaulted off the roof almost lazily and then made her way into the house. She'd sent Fang to get some hot chocolate and marshmallows more than ten minutes ago, but the other woman had yet to return. Grumbling quietly to herself, she headed for the dining room only to pause as she heard the excited voices of her children and Fang.

"Eighteen chubby chocobos!" Diana shouted. "Wow, that's as good as I did!"

There was a long paused and then a collective gasp of awe.

"Nine… nineteen chubby chocobos!" Fang growled. "Take that!"

Chubby chocobos? Lightning tilted her head to one side. She had heard some strange things in her life, especially since the kids had been born, but this was something new. Fully prepared – or so she thought – she stepped into the dining room to see what new scheme her beloved children had dragged her beloved wife into.

She was not prepared for what she saw.

Fang's cheeks were bulging out and she seemed to be having difficulty breathing as she shoved another marshmallow into a mouth already stuffed with the sugary treats.

"Twenty chubby chocobos," Fang crowed.

Across the table, Averia's eyes were wide with disbelief. "This cannot be real."

Lightning sat down. "What are doing?" She twitched as Fang reached for another marshmallow. Maker, Fang's cheeks looked like they were going to explode. "And why do you have all those marshmallows in your mouth?"

Fang grinned, or at least, tried to. It was hard to tell. "We're playing a game, and right now I'm winning. Averia, why don't you explain the rules to your mom."

Lightning listened with growing disbelief as Averia laid out the rules for a game that seemed equal parts demented and suicidal. Frankly, Lightning thought that it was a miracle that none of them had choked yet. Imagine that, the great Oerba Yun Fang done in by marshmallows.

"And you all find this fun?" Lightning asked slowly.

Averia and Diana both nodded as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Fang smirked and managed to speak around the marshmallows in her mouth. "Don't worry about your about your mom, kids. She knows how fun it is. She's just grumpy because she knows she can't win."

Lightning's eyes narrowed. She knew that she was being baited, but that smug tone of Fang's was just more than she could stand. "Is that so?" She reached determinedly for a marshmallow and popped it into her mouth, careful to hold Fang's gaze the entire time. "One chubby chocobo."

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

This chapter is based on a rather idiotic game that once took place during one of my school camps. The aim of the game was very simple: stuff as many marshmallows into your mouth as possible while saying "chubby bunnies". Simple? Yes. Idiotic? You bet. I thought about maybe making it into a chapter for Ordinary Heroes, but as you can see, it really isn't long enough for that. Besides, it's more of an omake. In my head, I can kind of imagine it coming after Chapter 6 of _Ordinary Heroes_, the chapter where Diana educates Claire and Averia on the finer points of Arctic warfare.

Finally, please, do not try this at home. The game does present a serious choking hazard, and I am not responsible for anyone who finds themselves in trouble, even after reading this warning. Yes, I know this sounds crazy, but I know someone who almost choked while eating a spoonful of Milo (as in the powder).

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	7. Collectibles SH

**Note: This is set in the _Superhero _universe. In terms of timing, it is set not long after Serah and Claire move to Eden City. However, whether or not it actually occurs in the official time line of the story is entirely up in the air. I still haven't decided yet.**

X X X

**Collectibles**

Over the years, Fang had learned the hard way that flashing red lights generally meant trouble. More recently, she'd learned that was doubly true when Vanille's lab was involved. Fang might be almost invulnerable, but some of the things Vanille came up with just boggled the mind. Only last week, the other woman had gotten it into her head that Fang needed a new computer. The resulting robotic monstrosity had taken Fang the better part of an hour to put down, to say nothing of the amount of time it took to clean up the mess.

So it was with no small amount of trepidation that Fang noticed the flashing red light in the corner of the matron's living room. That light meant that down in Vanille's lab something had gone horribly wrong, something that would probably require a certain level of brute force to deal with. On the upside, at least the matron wasn't home. Instead, she was in town having lunch with a few of her friends.

"Just my luck," Fang muttered as she got up and made her way over to the barn built a reasonable distance from the matron's house. Inside the barn, she waited patiently for a few moments as several hidden sensors confirmed her identity. A few seconds later, there was a quiet hiss as a hatch in the floor swung open, revealing the secret elevator that led to Vanille's lab.

As the elevator began its long descent toward the lab, Fang consoled herself with the thought that maybe it was just a false alarm. Vanille had a habit of falling asleep down there, and maybe she'd simply slipped and pushed the alarm by accident. But knowing Fang's luck, there were probably at least a dozen things to deal with, all of them with lasers and missiles.

When the elevator finally reached the bottom, the doors swung open to reveal a long, drab corridor made of white material. All along the corridor were flashing red lights, and the air was filled with the horrible wail of sirens. With a scowl on her face, she strode down the corridor. Once all of this was over, she would be having a long, long talk with Vanille.

As she walked down the corridor, several blast doors rose to grant her passage. Each of the doors was strong enough to withstand almost anything short of a full-scale nuclear attack. Fang's lips curled. Vanille might enjoy playing around in her lab, but she would never risk anything getting out and hurting the matron. No, if anyone was going to get hurt cleaning up Vanille's mess, it would probably be Fang.

"What's all of this racket about?" Fang growled as she stepped past the last blast door and into Vanille's lab. Interestingly, nothing seemed to be on fire, and there didn't seem to be any killer robots around.

Vanille's voice came from around the corner, in one of the more secluded parts of the lab. "Come here, Fang!" A second later, the flashing lights and sirens stopped.

Fang ambled around the corner and then paused. Vanille was standing in front of what was likely the strongest door in the entire lab. It had taken the red head more than a month to put it together, and even Fang would be hard pressed to break through it in anything less than a few hours. Fang had never been through the door, and combined with the fact that the walls were equally tough and made of something she couldn't see through, she was more than a little curious to know what was inside. However, it looked like today would be the day she found out, because Vanille was standing right in front of the door, and the door was wide open.

"Well," Fang asked. "Are you going to tell me what this is all about?"

Vanille turned and sniffled pathetically. "Follow me." She stepped into the room and waved at the contents. "Take a look."

Fang looked.

Sweet Maker… was this some kind of crazy nightmare?

The entire room – which was easily larger than the matron's house – was filled with superhero collectibles. There were trading cards, posters, plush toys, and even models and statues, all of them kept in reinforced, climate controlled glass cabinets.

"What is all of this?" Fang took a slow step back. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something and then hurried over to take a closer look. Superhuman vision or not, she could hardly believe what she saw. There, hidden away in a specially designed case, was an Ultrawoman trading card. It showed her with her fist buried in the gut of a robot, and below was a short, but exciting, description of the battle. The trading card was also holographic, all she had to do was tilt her head a little and the image would change. One moment, she would be punching the robot. The next, the robot would be exploding. "Vanille?"

Vanille walked over and reached out to wipe away the smudges that Fang's hands had left on the glass. "Is that what caught your eye? The picture is from your first battle." She grinned. "Let me tell you, getting that card was hard. I had to go to three conventions just to find it, and then I had to trade a heap of other cards to get it." She sighed happily. "But it was worth it. There are only fifteen in the world, and now I have one."

"Conventions…" Fang wasn't sure what to think. "Fifteen? What are you talking about?"

Vanille's voice took on a lecturing tone. "Really, Fang, you need to keep up with the times. Superhero collectibles are a big deal. The industry itself is worth billions of gil a year."

"Billions?" Fang gaped. "How? And why haven't we gotten any of that?"

Vanille smirked. "Video games, Fang. Trading cards. Toys. Comics. You name it, there's a superhero version of it for sale and with a substantial mark up too." Her smirk widened. "And as for getting a slice of the profits… well, who says we're not?"

Fang's eyes narrowed. "What did you do, Vanille?"

"Well, I may have sent a subtly threatening message to the makers of all these things that Ultrawoman and Ultragirl were not pleased by the shameless, unauthorised use of their likenesses." Vanille batted her eyelashes at Fang. "I may also have set up a certain, secret account where funds could be deposited to make up for this… unfortunate oversight."

Fang felt a headache coming on. "You hacked their systems didn't you? And then you extorted money out of them?"

"Technically, it isn't extortion. After all, they are making a lot of money from using our likenesses." She shrugged. "And don't worry, I'm not keeping much of it. Almost all of it goes to charity. The rest, I save in case the matron ever needs anything." She rolled her eyes. "And it's not like we need any more money. Between the things I can make, and what I've earned using the lab's computers to play the stock market, we're not exactly poor."

Fang sighed. There were times when she couldn't help but wonder if maybe Vanille wouldn't make a better super villain. Heck, give the red head a few years and she'd probably have enough money to be the legitimate ruler of the world. Fang shivered. Now that was a scary thought.

But there was still the matter of all the collectibles…

"Since when have you collected things like this?" Fang asked, gesturing vaguely at the room around them. Good grief, there was even a giant plush toy of Ultrawoman in the corner. "And why do you have it all in here?"

Vanille gave Fang a frown. "I've been collecting for ages," she replied. "And you have to admit, it is kind of cool. And as for why it's down here…" She grinned. "This is the safest place in the whole world. Not even you can just walk into this room, so there's absolutely no way that anything in here can get stolen."

"Stolen?" Fang shook her head. "People steal this stuff?"

Vanille nodded fiercely. "Of course they do, some of this stuff is really valuable." She grabbed Fang's hand and dragged her over to a display cabinet. Draped over a mannequin was an almost perfect copy of Fang's Ultrawoman costume. "See that? I picked that up at a convention last year. It's handmade. People would kill to have one of those." She pointed at the next cabinet over. "And I've even got the matching Ultragirl costume too!"

The gleam in Vanille's eyes was bright enough to convince Fang that it would be a bad, bad idea to point out that as Ultragirl, Vanille didn't need to buy an imitation costume from a convention. Time to move on to what would, hopefully, be a saner subject. "Right… now, about all the alarms, why exactly did you set them off?"

Vanille bit back a curse. "I got a little angry." She made a face. "There was something I really, really wanted, and I totally thought I was going to get it. But then I found out I wasn't."

"Oh?" Fang should've known better than to ask, but she just couldn't help herself. "What was it?"

"Here, I'll show you." Vanille reached over and tapped several buttons on the wall. Immediately, a large image appeared on the wall. Fang blinked and then almost tripped over.

The image on the wall was breathtaking in its realism and detail. It was a picture of Ultrawoman and Lady Lightning, the two of them floating through a dark, storm-tossed sky. Rain lashed their bodies, and the wind tugged at their clothes. But what truly caught Fang's attention was the pose that the two superheroes were in. The two women were locked in a firm, but tender, embrace, their faces half hidden in the shadow cast by a jagged bolt of lightning. What wasn't hidden, however, was the fact that the two were locking lips.

"What… is… that?" Fang croaked.

Vanille pointed at the image. "That, Fang, is the one of a kind Ultrawoman-Lady Lightning painting from the Super Heroic Love Collection." Vanille sighed dramatically. "And I was so sure I'd gotten it too. Damn it, I must have sent in a million of those stupid cereal box coupons."

"Super Heroic Love Collection?" Fang was unable to tear her eyes away from the image of the painting. It looked so real. "What is that?"

"Basically, it's quite popular to speculate about the romantic lives of superheroes. The Super Heroic Love Collection is a series of trading cards, posters, and art books that have been released to try and take advantage of that speculation." She pointed at the image on the wall. "I've already got all of the normal stuff, but I wanted that one. That's one of the original paintings that all of the cards and stuff are copies of."

"One of?" Fang asked, certain that she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear.

"Yes, there are others." Vanille pressed another button and part of the wall opened to reveal a painting kept behind several inches of reinforced glass. "Like this one."

Fang tore here eyes away from the image of her and Lady Lightning and then blinked as she took in the sight of the painting on the wall. It showed her and Vanille… in the midst of a torrid kiss, their capes flaring about them in dramatic fashion. "What is that?"

Vanille giggled at the look of horror on Fang's face. "Oh, don't be so upset. Not everyone knows that we're family, and we are both pretty awesome." She grinned. "And it wasn't like I could let just anyone else have it." She looked back at the image of Ultrawoman and Lady Lightning and then scowled. "But someone else won the competition to get that one. I've been trying to find out who it was, but no one seems to know. I even tried hacking their systems to find out!"

"I see." Fang really didn't. "But why exactly do people think that… that me and Lady Lightning have some kind of thing going on? We haven't even met."

"Well…" Vanille giggled and her voice took on a horribly mischievous tone. "Just think of how it must look to the rest of the world." She clasped her hands together and sighed dramatically. "On one side you have Ultrawoman, the dashing, fiery alien who wears her heart on her sleeve, and isn't afraid to throw in a quip or two. On the other side, you have Lady Lightning, a quiet woman known for her cool, icy demeanour. Yet surely beneath her cold exterior there must be a passionate heart just waiting for the right person to come along and set it ablaze with desire." Vanille chuckled at Fang's look of absolute horror. "Yet… despite their differences, these two superheroes are united by a shared sense of justice. Who better to understand their burdens than each other? Who better to seek comfort in?" She smirked. "Who better to walk the long and treacherous path of love with?"

Fang stifled the urge to punch Vanille through the wall. "Who comes up with stuff like that?"

Vanille shrugged. "The InfoNet."

"The InfoNet?" Fang twitched.

"And that's not even the best explanation for your torrid love affair." Vanille giggled. "Personally, I'm a fan of the idea that you two got into some kind of epic battle that turned into an epic battle of an altogether different kind."

Fang dragged in a deep, calming breath. She couldn't kill Vanille. She'd feel bad about it later, and the matron would scold her. "So… you called me down here because you got mad that you didn't get that painting you wanted?" Vanille nodded. "Fine. Good luck. I'm going back to watch some television."

"No!" Vanille wailed, grabbing at Fang's arm. "You can fly faster than me and your x-ray vision is better than mine. Please, Fang, you need to fly around the world and find that painting for me."

Fang pried Vanille's hands off her arm. "Nope, not a chance." She stomped out of the room. Honestly, her love life was nobody's business except hers. And really, people wanted her in a relationship with Lady Lightning? Like that would ever happen, although, Fang admitted, the other woman did have a killer pair of legs…

X X X

Claire was a little worried. A few hours ago, Serah had rushed into her room with a large package wrapped in brown paper. However, she had yet to emerge. Gingerly, Claire went over to Serah's room and knocked on the door.

"Serah, it's me," Claire said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm better than okay," Serah said. "Come in, I've got something I want to show you."

Claire opened the door and then jerked back as if burned. Hanging from the wall beside Serah's bed was a painting of Lady Lightning and Ultrawoman… and… and they were kissing.

Serah grinned. "Isn't it just the most romantic thing you've ever seen?"

"Where did you get that?" Claire breathed, doing her level best to look anywhere but the painting. Damn it, she was blushing, she just knew she was.

"In a competition." Serah giggled. "Can you believe it? I only sent in one coupon from a cereal box and I won."

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

I was sorely tempted to put this in _Superhero_, but luckily, common sense took hold of me. Not only is this quite whacky, but I'm not even sure where or how it fits into the timeline. That said, I've been wanting to do something like this for a long time, since I've always wondered just how superheroes react to all the merchandise. Not surprisingly, some people don't like it, whereas others love it.

I was also tempted to cross this over with_ Ordinary Heroes _(like in Chapter 1 of the omake). The idea of Diana getting into a fight at school over which superhero is the best was quite tempting, especially since both her parents are superheroes, and she would, naturally, feel the need to defend their honour. That and can you imagine Averia and Claire getting into a brawl over whose parents are better (at the moment, I've got Averia in front…).

Also, I'd like to direct all of you toward RedKid11's profile on DeviantArt. She's got an excellent pic of Lady Lightning up. She should also have a pic of Ultrawoman up soon, and there's some good FLight stuff there too, for those of you so inclined. Head over there and show her some love. Just google "Lady Lightning RedKid11". I would post a link, but this website keeps screwing up the URL despite all my best efforts to get around the filter…

If anyone else has any artwork or anything, just drop me a link and I'll see if I can't do a bit of promotion.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	8. Big Sister, Little Sister OH

**Note: This is set in the same universe as _Ordinary Heroes_ and _Tell Me a Story_. However, its exact position in the timeline (or even if it is part of the official timeline) has not yet been determined.**

X X X

**Big Sister, Little Sister**

School could be a tough place, especially for people who were different, and Diana was very different indeed. But Diana had an older sister – an older sister who didn't care that Diana was different, an older sister who would make sure that nobody else cared either.

Oh, Averia didn't go after everyone. She understood that her sister could be strange and maybe even a little weird, and the other kids would have to be stupid not to notice that. Most of the time a glare was enough to stop people from being mean, and when it wasn't, usually a quiet word or two was. She could sound a lot like her mom when she needed too, and if Lightning Farron could terrify trained soldiers with just her voice, then Averia Yun-Farron could certainly terrify a few children.

No, the only people that Averia really went after were the nasty ones. These were the kids who didn't stop at calling Diana weird, or strange, or short. These were the kids who wanted to make Diana feel all small inside, like she didn't belong, like she wasn't fine just the way she was.

But Averia wasn't stupid. She would only get one chance, and after that she would probably get grounded or worse. So, she asked around very quietly, and she found out who the biggest, nastiest bully was. It wasn't very hard. He was one of the bigger boys from sixth grade, and he'd picked on other people before. Well, he wouldn't be picking on anyone once she was done with him.

She waited until he started picking on Diana again, and then, in front of a crowd of other kids, she called him what he really was. Coward. Bully. Idiot. She wanted him mad. She wanted him angry. She needed him to throw the first punch. When he did, she beat him up, beat him up so badly that he cried. And then she told him why.

After that, no one ever called Diana weird or strange again, and no one ever tried to make her feel all small inside. When the teachers found out, Averia got into lots of trouble. They called her parents and gave her lots of detention. But that was okay. At least the boy got into trouble too, and she could tell, even though her parents grounded her that they weren't angry, not really.

The Yun-Farrons were a family, and if there was one thing that both Fang and Lightning had taught Averia, it was that family looked after family. So, no, they weren't angry with her, not really. If anything, they were a little disappointed. But not for the reasons most people would have expected.

Fang wouldn't have just beaten the boy up. She'd have put him in the hospital. In fact, back when she and Vanille had been kids, she had put someone in the hospital for picking on the red head. But of course, that had been in the old days, and times were different now.

And Lightning… Lightning would have found a way to get away with it.

But Averia wasn't Fang, and she wasn't Lightning. She was just Averia, and that would have to be enough. And it was, at least for Diana, it was.

The little girl made a point of sitting just outside the window whenever Averia had detention. She was good at hiding, so the teachers never saw her, but she could see Averia, and Averia could see her. They didn't have to say a word. Diana's sunny smile was enough to make Averia smile, just a little.

And on the weekends when Averia couldn't go out and had to stay home because she was grounded, Diana never felt like going to the park. Instead, she would stay at home with Averia.

In the years to come, Averia would have many choices to make. Some of them would be very hard, but others would be very, very easy. The easiest choice was always Diana. It didn't matter how old they got, or how tough Diana became. There would always be some part of Averia that saw the other girl as the slightly squishy looking thing with a tuft of unruly black hair and piercing blue eyes that her mommy had given birth to all those years ago.

The baby's eyes had opened and she'd smiled – she'd smiled right at Averia, and Averia had known right then and there, in some vague, instinctive way, that she would do anything to protect that smile. Averia had only been three when Diana was born, and so that particular memory had long since faded, if it had ever been there to begin with. But that feeling… that simple need to make Diana smile… that would always be there.

And as the years passed that feeling would only grow stronger. Diana, Averia felt, was meant for greater things. There was something inside Diana. It was that same something that made her weird or strange to other people, that same something that made her dream of impossible things. One day, Averia knew, Diana would find a way to show that something to everyone else. And on that day, Diana would become great. Everyone would see that the something inside of Diana wasn't just strangeness or weirdness. No, the something inside Diana was the same thing that made poets, and writers, and artists, and Diana had more of it than anyone Averia knew.

Yes, the day would come when Diana would leave Averia behind, when that something inside her would take her to places that Averia could never follow. If Diana's soul was like the wind, then Averia's was like the ground itself. Cold and hard, rules and logic, these were the things that Averia understood best. What did she know of dreaming? What did she know of flying?

But that was all right. Averia was Diana's big sister, so when the time came for Diana to leave her behind, she would not be sad, and she would not be angry. She would be happy. Diana would be better than her, more than her, and that was all that a big sister could ask for.

Yet when the day finally came, Averia would learn something very simple. It was the same something that Vanille had taught Fang so many years ago, the same something that Serah had taught Lightning too. It would be simple, so simple that Averia would never be able to understand how she had missed it.

Diana would never, ever leave her behind.

And if Averia had forgotten how to live for herself or how to dream, then Diana would just have to teach her. After all, some things were meant to fly, and Averia was one of them, even if she never could see it herself.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

I can honestly say that this is the chapter that I am least comfortable posting. I could give you a lot of reasons for this, but basically it comes down to this: feeling. This chapter is heavy with it, or at least, I hope it is. But at the same time, it's a chapter that I very much wanted to post as well. People have asked about what happens to Averia and Diana in the future and this is one (admittedly oblique and fairly short) answer to that question. Does it really surprise anyone that Averia is willing to give up her dreams for Diana? And does it really surprise anyone that Diana doesn't leave Averia behind? Maybe not, but that's okay. Some things shouldn't just be known, they should be said, and now, at least, I've said them. Eventually, I'll probably get around to writing something more substantial about the future of _Ordinary Heroes_, and when I do it will probably be a little happier than this. For now, however, this will have to do.

On an unrelated topic, this chapter is dedicated to my sister. She's a better writer than I am, and maybe after enough of my bugging and poking, she'll finally believe it. On another unrelated note – do not go longer than two days without sleep, otherwise you'll end up writing something like this. Seriously, get sleep people, and if after three days without sleep you start hallucinating, then don't worry. That happened to me too.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	9. The Crazy Chocobo Lady SF

**Note: This occurs in the same universe as _Stetsons and Fal'Cie._ It takes places after the story.**

X X X

**The Crazy Chocobo Lady, or Don't Mess With Vanille the Kid**

Serah Farron was a lot of things, but a coward wasn't one of them. Together with her friends – and one, scandalously handsome stockman – she'd faced down the worst Cocoon could muster and come out on top. Sure, they'd had a couple of close calls, and they'd come back pretty beat up, but they'd won, and that was something special, all right.

Right now though, she wasn't feeling too brave, and the reason was standing right there in front of her. Why on earth had she thought it would be a good idea to have Vanille come in to talk to the kids about chocobos? It was like lighting a stick of explosives, and throwing it into a store full of fine china.

But maybe she wasn't giving the other woman enough credit. They'd become pretty close since all that business with Cocoon. Vanille had a cheerful way of handlings herself, a quick wit, and a tongue that was equal parts sailor and silver. She was also something special when it came to machines and science. Anything that Serah asked about, Vanille usually had an answer for, and there were times when she wondered why the other woman hadn't gone into teaching or maybe industry. Then she remembered how much Vanille liked blowing things up.

At the moment, Vanille was walking through the class, spinning a tale about a rare chocobo, and the struggle she'd been through to catch it, and bring it back to her ranch outside of Bodhum. Serah wasn't sure just how much of the tale was true, but the fact was, the red head did disappear now and again, and she usually did come back with a chocobo or two. The fact of the matter was she'd already started building up quite a reputation. If folks wanted a rare chocobo, then Vanille was the woman to go to.

The kids were downright filled with awe as Vanille told her story, but a few of them were also taking the chance to try and get in a bit of mischief. Yuffie, in particular, was looking to make some trouble. She'd already managed to get her sandwich out real quietly, and now she seemed set on throwing it at Vincent. Serah sighed. It was no wonder that Yuffie was always asking her for more food – she seemed determined to make Vincent wear hers.

Serah was just about to say something when Vanille flashed her a quick smile. The red head had spotted Yuffie too, and it seemed like she wanted to try her hand at schoolhouse discipline. Green eyes twinkling, Vanille fairly skipped over to Yuffie. She made sure to smile real nicely, and then, still smiling, she plucked the sandwich out of Yuffie's hand and took a bite out of it.

Yuffie's eyes widened, and she stared from her now empty hand to the sandwich Vanille was happily taking a bite out of.

"This is quite a sandwich you got here," Vanille drawled. She grinned and took another bite, taking care to really savour it. "I've got to say, it's been a while since I had roasted chicken with cheese, and there's even a hint of pepper here too." She nodded firmly. "This is a top quality sandwich, the kind I'd pay good money for."

Yuffie's mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she finally gathered the wherewithal to say something. "That was my lunch!" she blurted. Frantically, she waved her arms around. "Stop… stop eating my lunch!"

"Your lunch? Doesn't look that way to me." Vanille leaned over and took another big bite out of the sandwich, right in front of Yuffie's face. The little girl snarled and made a grab for the sandwich, but Vanille just danced away, easy as could be. Serah had to hide a smile behind one hand as she did her best to look calm and composed. There were appearances to keep, after all.

"Ms Farron!" Yuffie wailed, getting to her feet and pointing at Vanille. "She took my lunch!"

Serah nodded. "Yes, Yuffie, she did." Her lips curled a fraction at the edges. "But you weren't planning on eating your lunch, were you?"

Yuffie winced.

"If I didn't know better," Vanille said, finishing the sandwich and licking her lips. "I'd say you were just about to mash that sandwich of yours into the hair of the boy in front of you." In front of Yuffie, Vincent turned and gave the girl a real hard look. "Seems like a waste of good food to me, and that's something I just can't stand. Good food is for eating." She chuckled softly, but there was something just a little bit threatening about it too. "And you know what else I can't stand? Little girls who muck around while I'm trying to talk."

Yuffie sank back into her seat, eyes wide. Serah twitched and it took everything she had not to burst out laughing. Vanille could be right scary when she wanted to be, but the gleam in the red head's eyes made things clear enough. She wasn't mad, not really, but she was going to have a little fun. It might even work out for the best too, since Yuffie was a pretty clever girl when she actually got around to applying herself.

"What… what are you going to do?" Yuffie murmured as Vanille leaned over her, lips pulled into something that wasn't quite a smirk.

"I don't suppose you know what orange and red chocobos eat, do you?" Vanille asked, her voice silky with just a hint of menace. Fang called it her 'crazy' voice, since it made her seem just a touch wrong in the head. She let her smirk widen a fraction and knelt beside Yuffie's table, her face level with the little girl's.

"Um…. they eat grains and things, don't they?" Yuffie asked. The rest of the class had gone all quiet, and it was like the woman in front of her was the whole world. "Maybe?"

Vanille gave a little laugh and wrapped one arm around Yuffie's shoulders. Under different circumstances, it would have been friendly, but Yuffie just looked terrified. "Well, you're not too far off, kid. But you're not quite right either. You see, most chocobos do eat grains and things, but orange and red chocobos are a little different. They're a bit wilder, got a taste for something… more interesting."

"More interesting?" Yuffie trembled.

"Yes, more interesting." Vanille gave Yuffie a gentle pat on the head and directed the girl's eyes out the window to where Vanille's orange and red chocobo was tied up in front of the school. "You were watching when I tied him up outside, right?" Yuffie nodded slowly. "See how tight I tied him?" Yuffie nodded again. "If I don't, he makes trouble." Vanille smiled sunnily. "Want to know what kind of trouble?"

"No…" Yuffie was thinking long and hard about never, ever putting anything in Vincent's hair again.

"I'll tell you. You see, orange and red chocobos like eating people." Vanille grinned like she'd just told a joke. "Now, a grown up like Ms Farron is a little too much for a chocobo to handle, but a little kid like you? You'd be easy pickings."

"That's… that's not true." Yuffie shook her head back and forth. Why wasn't Ms Farron doing anything?"

"Really? Then why are his claws so big?" Vanille asked. Yuffie swallowed thickly. The chocobo outside really did have much longer claws than most chocobos. "And why is his beak so pointy?" Yuffie forgot how to breathe. That beak was real pointy. "And if it isn't true, then maybe after class, you could help me get him untied?"

"No!" Yuffie screamed, finally finding the energy to break away. She ran over to Serah as quickly as she could, and flung her arms around Serah's legs. "Help me, Ms Farron. Don't let her feed me to the chocobo. I promise I'll be good, just don't let that crazy chocobo lady get me!"

Serah smiled warmly and gave Yuffie a gentle hug. "I'm sure she won't do anything of the sort, provided that you are very good from now on, isn't that right, Vanille?"

Vanille shrugged and looked around at the rest of the class. Almost as one, every kid in the class snapped to attention. "Sure. Only bad kids get fed to my chocobos. Good kids don't taste nearly as nice."

Things went just about perfectly after that, and after class, Serah pulled Vanille aside.

"What you told Yuffie, it isn't true, is it?" Serah asked.

Vanille looked around to make sure none of the kids were around and then burst out laughing. "Of course not. Chocobos don't eat people." She pointed at the chocobo outside that all of the kids were giving a very, very wide birth. "That fellow there likes oats more than anything else, and maybe a little corn on the side. He's real easygoing too, just about nothing gets him mad."

Serah gave a little laugh. "So his claws…"

"I forgot to trim them last week, that's all." Vanille shrugged. "And his beak has always been like that."

"I see." Serah smiled. "Well, thank you kindly for coming in today, Vanille. I daresay the children learned a thing or two."

And indeed the children had.

From that day on, just about every kid in town knew about the Crazy Chocobo Lady and her kid eating chocobos. Somehow, Serah got the feeling that Vanille didn't mind that at all.

And Yuffie? She never threw her lunch at Vincent again, at least not when there were chocobos around.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

So… here's another 'epilogue' of sorts for the _Stetsons and Fal'Cie_ universe. The whole chapter is sort of based around a remark that Vanille made in Chapter 31 of that story about wanting to have so many chocobos that everyone will think she is crazy. Well, I couldn't resist letting that particular wish come true. And who better to think she is crazy than the kids? Besides, I just think that she and Serah have a certain feel to their relationship, the kind that makes it real easy for them to just get along and joke around. For those of you waiting for your favourite character to get a bit of an epilogue, don't worry. I've got stuff in mind for almost everyone. _Stetsonss and Fal'Cie_ has kind of carved a niche in my heart, and it's fun to come back to it now and again (although writing with a Western feel after so long can be tricky, since I've been working mostly on stories involving gods, superheroes, and zombies…).

On an unrelated note, some people have mentioned to me that it looks like I am going through a whole range of alternate universes. This, as a matter of fact, is not too far from the truth. I like writing in a range of genres, and going into different kinds of alternate universes helps me do that. Writing in different alternate universes also lets me try a range of different things, and it helps keep my writing fresh. One reader has even suggested that I explore a pirate AU next. I can't say that I will, but I will say the idea is definitely amusing. If I ever do, just wait for a joke about pirate Fang wanting to "shiver" Lightning's timbers… and yes, I know that pun was lame, but I just couldn't help myself. You will also notice that I've decided to label the chapters in this story (in the chapter selection bar). I don't normally do this, but I thought it might be useful. I've also added some designation to the chapters to show which universe is involved (e.g., OH = Ordinary Heroes, SH = Superhero, SF = Stetsons and Fal'Cie, WG = Whispers of the Gods, etc.).

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	10. Chapter 10

**Note: This chapter is set in the same universe as Chapter 1. That is, it is set in a universe combining _Ordinary Heroes _and _Superhero._**

X X X

**The Costume Isn't Everything – The Greatest Nine Year Old In The World**

Averia stopped mid-stride and turned to look at the television in the store window. Around her, the rest of her class continued to walk down the street, but the news on the television was just too important to ignore.

According to the news, Rocket Town had just come under attack by an army of evil robots. AVALANCHE was trying to contain the situation, but the report said that there were hundreds, maybe even thousands of robots. That was bad, really, really bad. Averia had a lot of respect for AVALANCHE – she even had an autographed photo of Tifa Lockhart that her Aunt Vanille had gotten her somehow – but there might too many robots to deal with, even for them.

"Come on, Averia," one of the teachers said. "We need to keep walking."

Averia nodded and hurried to catch up to the others, but her mind was already considering all of the possibilities. She really should stay with her class. Right now they were on camp in Nibelheim, but she was already bored out of her mind. The whole point of the trip was to go and see the mountains, but she'd already seen the mountains, and from above too. She would have argued harder about going, but considering the fact that her parents were Ultrawoman and Lady Lightning, arguing wouldn't really have done her much good.

But maybe there was something else she could do. According to her Aunt Vanille, people did all sorts of important research in Rocket Town, which was probably why the robots were there in the first place. And if someone was willing to send that many robots, then the research they were after had to be important. Normally, one of her parents would have gone there by now, but just a few minutes ago, she'd gotten a message from them on the special communicator that she carried with her everywhere. There was something really, really big happening in Nautilus, so her parents and her Aunt Vanille had gone there instead.

She frowned. AVALANCHE needed help, but right now there was no one to give it to them. Or maybe there was. She could do it. Nibelheim wasn't that far from Rocket Town, not for her. She might not be as fast as her parents, but she was still much faster than almost anyone else. And she'd been training a whole lot in the combat simulator, so she knew that fighting robots wouldn't be a problem. If she didn't go then people might get hurt, and her parents were always saying that with great power came great responsibility. Yes, she just had to go. There was just one problem. She didn't have a costume.

What to do?

Averia frowned and looked around for a few moments before a small smile settled on her lips. There was a costume store across the street. Moving at a speed that would make her all but invisible to a normal person, she darted across the street and into the store. With so many kids wandering around, it would be a while until the teachers noticed she was gone, and even if they did notice, she could always show up later and say that she got lost.

Ignoring the stares she got from a few of the customers already in the store, she looked for something, anything that she could use at a disguise. The absolute last thing she wanted to do was to show up in a clown costume or something. That would just be dumb, and a flying clown would probably scare lots of people too.

There was just one problem. All of the good costumes, the ones with capes and masks, cost a lot of money. Of course, she could always just take one and use her super speed to get away before anyone noticed, but that would be stealing, and stealing was wrong. She took out her wallet and winced. There was only one costume she could afford, and she really didn't want to wear it. But what choice did she have? While she was worrying about her costume, people might be getting hurt.

With a sigh, she took the costume to the counter and paid for it. It wasn't what she wanted, but it was better than turning up in her school clothes. It was just a good thing that her communicator had a disguise function built into it too. It wasn't as good as the ones her mom and her Aunt Vanille used, but it should be enough to keep people from recognising her face. All she had to do now was change and then make the short flight to Rocket Town.

X X X

Tifa darted behind a pile of rubble as a hail of gunfire filled the air. She sighed. Just last week, AVALANCHE had gone up against a horde of killer mutants courtesy of Hojo, and now they had to deal with killer robots. It was almost like the script of a bad movie, only it wasn't a movie, it was her life.

"There sure are a lot of them today."

Tifa looked across the street and rolled her eyes. Crouched behind another pile of rubble was Yuffie. The young woman was dressed in stereotypical ninja garb – black clothing that covered almost every part of her except her face. It was hard to believe sometimes, that only a few years ago Yuffie had gone into battle wearing short shorts and a shirt that exposed a great deal of her mid-riff. Still, several years of missions had definitely taught Yuffie the importance of dressing appropriately for battle.

"There are always a lot of them," Tifa replied. She grinned and snuck a look over the rubble in front of her. "After all, we're AVALANCHE. We don't do easy."

There were a dozen robots advancing down the street, firing almost indiscriminately at anything that moved. Thankfully, almost all of the civilians had already been evacuated, which left her and the rest of AVALANCHE free to deal with the robots as they saw fit. Of course, that was easier said than done considering the fact that the robots were three metres tall and armed to the teeth.

"Can you take the six on the left, Yuffie?" Tifa ducked back behind cover. "I'll take the six on the right."

Yuffie grinned and with a flick of her wrists, both her hands were full of shuriken. "Sure, but maybe we could make it interesting." Her grin widened. "Whoever takes care of theirs first has to hand over a technique."

Tifa's lips curled. "Sure. That sounds like fun." Like her, Yuffie was capable of channelling her spiritual energy, but the younger woman's techniques tended to lend themselves more toward stealth than straight up combat. Of course, what Yuffie lacked in brute force, she made up for with ingenuity. The shuriken she favoured were rigged with everything from paralytic poisons to high explosives. "Let's go."

In a burst of speed, Tifa leapt over the rubble and rushed toward the oncoming robots. All twelve of them opened fire at once, but she zigzagged wildly, using what little cover there was to help her close the gap. She ducked behind a battered car, and there was a low hiss as several shuriken streaked through the air. A moment later, three of the robots on the left were gone, lost in an explosion that shook the street and sent bits of half-melted metal and concrete everywhere.

Tifa pushed out from behind the car as the remaining robots staggered about in disarray. More shuriken flew overhead and another three robots dropped to their knees, great arcs of electricity racing over their forms. She bit back a growl. Damn it. She should have known better than to take Yuffie up on her bet. Oh well, it was all in good fun. Whenever she taught Yuffie something, the younger woman always taught her something in return. The bet was just a way to keep things interesting.

As if their job wasn't already interesting enough.

A split-second later and Tifa reached the robot closest to her. It lunged forward, intent on smashing her with one huge fist, but when it's fist smashed into the ground, she was no longer there. Instead, she was airborne, flipping easily through the air. She angled herself toward the robot's head, and spun to drive one heel into the side of the robot's skull. The robot was heavily armoured, but against the spiritual energy that Tifa could use, its armour might as well have been made of paper. The robot toppled to its knees, and Tifa vaulted off its shoulder toward the next one. Practice was all well and good, but there was nothing quite like real combat.

Just under a minute later, and the last of the robots crashed into a nearby building, its entire chest caved in. Tifa took a few seconds to confirm that all of the robots were down, and then relaxed slightly.

"Looks like you owe me a technique," Yuffie said as she skipped over, twirling a shuriken around one finger. "Maybe that one where you punch something and it catches fire… that one was pretty cool

Tifa chuckled. She had absolutely no doubt in her mind that Yuffie would love that technique – and that the rest of AVALANCHE would hate it. The last time she'd taught Yuffie a technique, it had been one that transformed spiritual energy into electricity. Yuffie had spent almost a week going around giving people little shocks. Vincent had been absolutely murderous. "We'll see. I have another technique that –" She froze as the ground began to shake. "Actually, hold that thought. I don't think we're out of the woods yet."

A quick look around confirmed that things hadn't gotten better, they'd gotten much, much worse. Right now, they were in the middle of a three-way intersection, and marching down each of the three streets was a horde of robots.

"For crying out loud," Yuffie growled. "How many robots are there?" She made a face. "I should probably just summon Leviathan and –"

"No," Tifa growled before she sighed and softened her voice. "Not yet. I don't want you summoning Leviathan unless you have to." Yuffie belonged to a secretive clan of ninjas that had somehow survived into modern times. What made them especially notorious was their ability to summon an entity called 'Leviathan'. No one was entirely sure of what Leviathan was – Gast suspected it was some kind of higher-dimensional alien – but the toll it took on Yuffie was enormous. She'd been unconscious for a month the last time she'd called on Leviathan, and Tifa was not about to risk that again unless there was no other choice.

Yuffie made a face. "Fine, but if things get bad, I will summon Leviathan." Her gaze hardened and she locked eyes with Tifa. "I'd rather be unconscious for a few weeks than let you end up dead."

Tifa nodded grimly. "Fine, but not until I give the word."

The robots on all sides picked up the pace. Given their sheer numbers, some of them had chosen to hang back to offer supporting fire as others rushed in for melee combat.

"You know," Yuffie muttered. "It would be nice if we had some reinforcements."

And then the strangest thing happened. As one of the robots broke away from the others and leapt into the air to crush them, there was a boom of thunder from the south and then a flash of lightning before something slammed into the robot, and smashed it into the ground. A cloud of dust billowed out, and the other robots stopped to evaluate the new threat.

"Am I awesome or what?" Yuffie said, grinning at Tifa. "I just say the word and… boom, reinforcements."

Tifa's eyes narrowed. Only one superhero in the world made a habit of appearing in a bolt of lightning. However, as the cloud of dust cleared, Tifa realised that the person in front of them was not Lady Lightning.

Lady Lightning was not that short.

And Lady Lightning definitely did not wear a bright pink tutu.

Even the robots seemed a little taken aback.

And naturally, Yuffie was the first one to speak.

"You're wearing a tutu." The ninja stared at the little girl in front them, struggling to hold back her laughter. "You've been flying around in a pink tutu."

The girl – who had indeed been flying around in a bright pink tutu – turned and gave Yuffie a vicious glare. Eyes still on Yuffie, she kicked the remains of the robot at her feet. The pile of mangled metal thumped down the street, and put an immediate end to Yuffie's laughter. Laughing at a little girl was one thing, laughing at a little girl who could kick a two-ton robot like it was a tin can was another matter.

"It was the only thing I could find," the girl grumbled. "And it wasn't like I could come in my school clothes." She blushed, and Tifa found herself struggling to make out her features. The feeling was actually quite familiar, and that combined with her powers…

"Wait," Tifa said. "Are your parents Lady Lightning and Ultrawoman?"

The girl winced and then looked away. "No…"

That was a yes then.

"Well, that explains something." Yuffie went over and gave the girl a gentle pat on the head. "You certainly take after your parents." She grinned. "Only you haven't got their fashion sense."

"Gah!" The girl waved one fist at Yuffie as the ninja danced out of reach. "Stop making fun of me!"

"Hehehehe." Yuffie giggled. "You're so cute." The girl flushed. "And you're even cuter when you blush too. Heh. Teasing you is almost as fun as teasing Vincent."

Tifa sighed. Yuffie might dress more sensibly for battle, but she still picked the worst times to play around. "Enough." She glanced over at the robots that had once more begun to advance, although more slowly. Whatever their analysis of the girl was, it was clear that they regarded her as a threat. She looked at the girl. "You might have powers, but this is dangerous. Are you sure you can handle it?"

The girl stopped scowling at Yuffie and took a deep breath. "I'm sure." She nodded firmly. "I've trained really hard. I can do this."

"Good." Tifa smiled. "Because I'd hate to get into trouble with your parents."

Yuffie opened her mouth to say something, but the words were lost, as the robots finally began their attack. Bullets and missiles raced towards the three of them, and they split apart, each of them taking one street.

The next few minutes passed by in a blur of explosions and screaming metal. Tifa punched, kicked, and hit anything that she could reach. A missile arced toward her, and she leapt out of the way just in time, taking shelter behind the mangled remains of a robot, before she hurled herself into the next group.

A fresh wave of robots forced her back, and she found herself at the intersection again. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Yuffie. The ninja was a blur of motion, flipping and spinning crazily from building to building as she rained shuriken down on the robots below her. Now and then, the robots would box her in, only for Yuffie to disappear in a puff of smoke before reappearing somewhere else. Tifa grinned. She might have the edge on Yuffie in direct combat, but Yuffie was definitely better when it came to using spiritual energy for things like teleportation. In fact, that was how Yuffie had met AVALANCHE – she'd broken into their supposedly impregnable headquarters. And as for the little girl… the little girl looked to be having the time of her life.

The girl was wading through the robots, her fists and feet flying out to crush reinforced metal with an ease that was equal parts frightening and impressive. Some of her blows were accompanied by the flash of electricity as lightning raced along her fists. A missile streaked through the air, and the girl blew it apart with a blast of what had to be heat vision, before a second blast melted the robot that had fired.

Tifa chuckled and turned her attention back to her own opponents. Kids these days.

X X X

Averia groaned as she smashed through one building before finally coming to a rest in a second. She was getting tired otherwise that robot never would have landed a hit on her. With a growl, she pulled herself out of the wall, and then bounded back onto the street. Time for revenge. She picked up a car, and used it to club the robot responsible for hitting her into the building.

Flying and moving around didn't take too much energy, but using her heat vision so much along with her lightning had tired her out a lot faster than she expected. A quick look around told her that Yuffie and Tifa were still fighting. They might not recognise her, but she definitely recognised them. They were doing a pretty good job of cutting down the robots, but there were more on the way, and at this rate… she shook her head. She needed to do something.

"Can you two buy me some time?" Averia shouted as she flew to the middle of the intersection. Tifa and Yuffie were there, fighting almost back-to-back.

Tifa punched another robot and nodded. "What have you got in mind?"

"Something big." Averia bit her lip. "I just need a little time."

As Yuffie and Tifa did their best to hold back the onslaught of robots, Averia closed her eyes. She needed something that could take out all of the robots at once, but none of her normal attacks could do that. Even her heat vision wouldn't go through more than two or three at a time, and she'd probably go blind or something if she used it that much. Instead, she'd have to rely on something else, something that her mom had only just started teaching her about.

Averia retreated into herself, and as the sounds of the battle faded away, she found herself alone in a dark corridor lined with titan pillars. Something that was not quite fear rippled through her, but she forced herself to stay calm. Later, when she was older, she would have to come here again if she wanted to be more like her mom, but for now, she just needed to borrow a little power.

She made her way down the corridor until she came to a great crystal throne. There, wrought in finest crystal, was a figure that could almost have been her mom. She gulped.

_Please_, she thought. _I know I'm a little early, but I just need a little help._

The reply thundered through her.

_You are my daughter as much as you are hers. You will have help. You know to whom you must call._

Averia's eyes snapped open. She shuddered. Only a few seconds had passed by the looks of it, but it had felt like hours. Above her, the skies had begun to darken, and she felt something inside her stir in response. It was the same power she felt whenever her mom really fought, and now, she could feel it inside herself.

"Great Etro!" Averia cried, her face turned to the sky. "Please grant me your aid. Strike down my enemies!"

What followed was a tempest of thunder and lightning that far surpassed anything that Averia had expected. Electricity rained down from the sky, and blew apart every robot that she could see. The wave of thunder that followed rocked the sky, and flung her out of the air. She hit the ground with enough force to leave behind a crater.

Then she blacked out.

X X X

"Hey, kid, you alive?"

Averia's eyes opened and she scowled. Yuffie was poking her with one of her shuriken. "Stop poking me with that. It's sharp."

"Yeah." Yuffie poked her again and grinned. "But you've got impenetrable skin and all that." She poked Averia again, and the edge of the shuriken bent. "See?"

"Yuffie, that's enough." Averia smiled as Tifa walked over and helped her to her feet. The burgundy-eyed woman smiled warmly. "That was something, all right."

Averia smiled back. "Thanks, but do you think you could maybe keep it to yourself." She winced and wobbled. She tried to summon some lightning and frowned. Nothing. It would be days then, maybe even weeks before she could call up any more of the lightning that her mom was so famous for. Right now, she wasn't even sure if she could fly. "I'm not actually supposed to be doing stuff like that yet."

Yuffie chuckled. "Still, it was pretty cool." She gave Averia a teasing look. "Maybe once you've found something better than a tutu, you might be able to go into the hero business for real."

There was a crack of thunder and Averia gulped as a bolt of lightning raced down from the sky and struck the ground nearby. When it cleared, her mom was standing there, eyes narrowed in a look that promised a great deal of trouble.

"I don't think she's quite ready to go into the hero business just yet."

Tifa nodded at the newcomer. "It's been a while, Lady Lightning."

"Tifa." Lady Lightning nodded back. Her gaze snapped back to Averia. "Now, do you care to explain why you're here and not with your classmates?"

"Well… I heard there was trouble here and I came to help and…" Averia trailed off. Her mom could be really, really scary when she wanted to be. "And…" She looked at Tifa and Yuffie for support. "Well…"

Yuffie shook her head. "Oh, no, kid, you're on your own for this one."

Averia looked back at her mom. "Um…"

"I understand that you want to help," Lady Lightning said. "And I'm very proud of you for doing so well." She reached forward and Averia's eyes widened as she was pulled into her mom's embrace. "And I'm glad that you're safe." She pulled away and scowled, and Averia just knew she was in for it. "But for worrying me and your mommy, and for rushing into danger without even telling us, consider yourself grounded for a month."

"But mom," Averia began. "I was just trying to help…"

Lady Lightning raised one eyebrow. "Would you like to make it two months?"

Averia wisely chose to keep quiet.

Tifa cleared her throat. "Lady Lightning, she really did well today. I mean it. Things would have gone much worse without her here."

Lady Lightning sighed. "Fine, I suppose I could only ground you for three weeks." She lifted Averia into her arms and then nodded at Tifa and Yuffie. "Unless there's anything else, we should be going. This one," she looked at Averia, "Needs to get back to class."

"It's okay, we can handle the cleanup," Tifa replied as Lady Lightning rose into the air. "Have a nice flight."

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

This chapter is a companion piece to the first chapter. A number of people have asked what sort of powers Averia would have, and I have been neglecting her a little, so I thought I'd give her a bit of time in the sun. Unlike Diana who resembles Fang more, Averia is a bit more like Lightning. She is also noticeably stronger than Diana, but three years is a lot of time to develop power-wise (Averia is roughly three years older than Diana). Averia's attack at the end, which took out most of the robots, isn't really representative of her power. She borrowed it from the same place that Lightning received the powers that make her Lady Lightning, but whereas Lightning has – by the time this chapter occurs – full access to that power and full mastery over it, Averia is really just flailing around in the dark. That's why she said she shouldn't really be using it. For those of you wondering what her costume looks like, don't worry – she'll get a proper one eventually.

I also introduced Yuffie here even though she hasn't appeared in _Superhero_ yet. I needed someone to be Tifa's partner during this chapter, and I settled on Yuffie, because I've always had a soft spot for her, and because I wanted to give her the chance to tease Averia (if you ask me, Yuffie and Fang would get on quite well in that regard). Unlike her Final Fantasy VII self she is much-more ninja like in the way she dresses. In terms of powers, she is like Tifa, except her use of spiritual energy takes on a different form. I'll have more extensive notes on her when she appears in _Superhero_ (which is probably going to happen in the next chapter of that story, and if not then, relatively soon).

If you have any comments on previous chapters, or even just suggestions or requests, drop me a line. This story is where I get to muck around a little without worrying too much about the consequences (I shudder to think of what would happen if I applied that approach to some of my other stories, which actually do have coherent plot lines). It's definitely a story I have a lot of fun with (although, I do enjoy writing all of my others, as well).

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	11. Chapter 11

**Note: This is set in the same universe as _Ordinary Heroes_.**

X X X

**A Matter of Age**

Fang settled an arm around Lightning and pulled the other woman closer. Life was good. On her other side, Averia gave her a suspicious look before turning back to the action movie they were all supposed to be watching.

"No kissing and stuff," Averia growled. "It ruins the movie."

Fang grinned. "When you get older, Averia, you'll realise that all the kissing and stuff can be much more interesting than the movie."

Bonk.

Lightning lowered her hand as Fang rubbed at her head. "At least wait until our daughter is a teenager before you corrupt her." Lightning gave Fang a pointed look. "And do you really want her rushing into all the kissing and stuff?"

Fang felt her eye twitch – possibly due to the knock she'd just received on the head, but more likely due to the thought of someone touching her daughter in anything even remotely approaching a sexual context. That was actually a really good point. She turned to Averia and put on her most serious expression. "Averia, no kissing or anything until you're twenty." She paused. "Actually, make that thirty."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Hypocrite." She'd gotten the scoop on Fang's teenage years from Vanille, and Fang had certainly done a lot more than just kiss before the age of twenty.

Averia sighed. Adults were strange. "Mommy, I'm not going to be kissing anyone." She made a face. "It's icky, and I don't know why you and mom like it so much." She scooted across the couch to put a little more distance between them. "You two can be so weird sometimes."

Fang just stared. "Did our daughter just call us weird?"

Lightning nodded. "Yes, I believe she did."

Fang's eyes narrowed. "You're taking it awfully well."

Lightning shrugged. "After the week I've had, I can let a few things slide." She shuddered. "Having one recruit pull the pin on a grenade and then throw the pin while holding onto the grenade is bad enough – we had four people do that this week. It's a miracle no one lost a limb."

"Wow." Fang winced. "You haven't got a very inspiring bunch this year, do you?"

"Honestly, I think Diana and Averia right now would be better recruits than some of them." Across the couch, Averia perked up, and Lighting shook her head. "And, no, Averia, you can't join the Guardian Corps yet. Wait until you're older." She looked around and then frowned. "And where did Diana go? Getting some ice cream should not take this long."

No movie night was complete without at least a little ice cream, and while the three of them had settled down to watch the film – ice cream could always come later – Diana had decided to get an early start on the sugary treat. It was example of childhood cunning at its finest.

"She's probably looking for the biggest bowl she can find," Averia said with a shrug. "It's not like you told her how much she could get."

Fang and Lightning both stiffened. They had told Diana that she could have some ice cream. The problem was that the phrase 'some ice cream' could probably be interpreted in several different ways. After all, just how much was some? Knowing Diana, 'some ice cream' probably equated to 'enough ice cream to develop diabetes'.

"Diana!" Lightning shouted. "How much ice cream are you getting?"

There was a bit of a commotion from the kitchen before the little girl came back with a bowl of ice cream.

It was a big bowl.

And there was a lot of ice cream.

Lightning reached for the remote and paused the movie. "Diana…" She stared at the bowl in a mix of resignation and horror. "Did you just empty the entire carton of ice cream into that bowl?"

Diana took her spoon out of her mouth and tried to wipe some of the strawberry ice cream off her lips. She would have liked some vanilla, but for some reason, they never got any vanilla ice cream, it was always chocolate or strawberry. "No…" Lightning's eyes narrowed. "Maybe…" Lightning tapped one finger on her arm. "Yes!"

"Diana, when we said you could get some ice cream, we didn't mean you could get all of it," Lightning said. "And you can't even eat all of that." Diana opened her mouth to speak and Lightning sighed. "What am I saying? Of course, you can eat all of it, but that doesn't mean you should." She took the bowl away from Diana. "Go get some more bowls, we'll split it between the four of us."

Diana huffed. "But, mom…"

"No, buts, Diana." Lightning frowned at the ice cream. "Sensible eating is important." A pout began to form on Diana's face and Lightning realised that she needed to bring out the big guns. "If all you eat is candy and ice cream, then you'll never get any taller."

"Never get any taller?" Diana's eyes widened comically before she glared at Averia. "Fine, I'll get some more bowls." She waved one fist at her sister. "Just you wait, you won't always be taller than me."

"That was just evil," Fang murmured as Lightning started the movie again.

"Would you rather I let her pout?" Lighting asked.

"Good point." Diana's pout was a deadly weapon.

A few moments later, Diana came back with more bowls and they divvied up the ice cream.

"Thank you, Diana," Fang said as the girl did her best to give everyone an equal share. Judging from the look of intense concentration on her face, it was a matter of the utmost importance.

With the ice cream situation safely under control, the four of them turned back to the movie. Diana had situated herself firmly between Fang and Lightning in a bid to stop them from ruining the film with all of their weird 'touchy feely' stuff, as Averia put it. It was also an excellent position from which to launch raids on their bowls of ice cream since they didn't seem to mind too much, and Averia was watching her bowl like a hawk.

Naturally, they were only halfway through the movie when there was more trouble.

"Mommy," Diana asked. "How old are you?"

Fang glanced down at Diana. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, we were talking about Cocoon and stuff at school, and Miss Gainsborough said you were more than five hundred years old." Diana made a face. "But then I said you couldn't be, otherwise you'd be all dried up and wrinkly like a mummy."

Before Fang could say anything, Lightning replied. "Actually, Diana, Miss Gainsborough was right. Your mommy really is more than five hundred years old."

"Really?" Diana put her bowl down and climbed into Fang's lap so that she could inspect her more closely. Tentatively, she poked at Fang's forehead and pulled on her cheeks. "You don't feel like you're five hundred years old." She paused. "But maybe that's why you complain about your back sometimes. Grandpa Sazh does that, and he's pretty old."

Fang twitched. Her complaints about her back had absolutely nothing to do with age, and everything to do with a certain pink haired temptress. It didn't help either that Averia was now looking at her with a sly grin that just screamed trouble. The older of the two girls knew all about Fang's time in stasis, although Diana had yet to fully catch on.

"But if you're more than five hundred years old, mommy," Averia said with obviously fake concern that Diana somehow failed to see right through. "Then aren't you… too old for mom?"

Fang twitched again. For someone who thought even kissing was icky, Averia seemed to know an awful lot about certain things. She'd probably have to keep a closer eye on the girl's reading material. Perhaps Averia was sneaking a look at some of Serah's romance novels.

"It's a little trickier than that," Fang began.

"Is it?" Fang gaped as Lightning took Diana into her arms and cuddled the little girl. "You know how cunning your mommy is right?" Diana nodded sagely. Her mom was smart, but her mommy was cunning. "Well, when we were on our journey, she decided to put her experience to work." Lightning sighed dramatically and even managed to fake a sob. "Given my youth, I was no match for her charms and experience." Diana hugged Lightning's middle tightly as Lightning shot Fang a smirk over Diana's head.

Diana turned and pointed one finger at Fang. "Cradle snatcher!"

Fang goggled. How did Diana even know what that was? "I am not."

"But you're like a billion years old and mom is like…" Diana made a face. "Well, younger than a billion."

Lightning chuckled before finally taking pity on Fang. "It's okay, Diana, we were just joking around." And then, with the movie still playing, she gave Diana a simplified account of Fang's time in stasis.

When Lightning was done, Diana gave Fang an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, mommy, you're not a cradle snatcher." Fang beamed. "But you are kind of lazy." Fang made a choking sound. "I mean, mom was waiting for you, but you and Aunt Vanille just went to sleep." She made a face. "If you'd woken up faster, then me and Averia would be older and even more awesome than we are now." She scowled. "Maybe I'd even be taller than her already."

Averia sighed. "It doesn't work like that." Trust Diana to worry about how tall they would be. Besides, it wasn't like Diana would ever be taller than her. "I don't think mommy wanted to go to sleep, she just kind of had to."

"Finally, someone sees reason." Fang shot Lightning a dirty – entirely non-sexual – look. "Thank you, Averia."

Diana seemed mollified and settled into her place on Lightning's lap. Still, she wasn't quite done.

"Mommy," Diana said, smiling sunnily. "Now that I know how old you are, we need to get you a bigger birthday cake. I don't think the last one had enough candles."

Fang just banged her head on the couch.

Thankfully, it was padded.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

This was a short piece that I decided to post here because it's too short to be a full chapter of _Ordinary Heroes_. The entire thing is basically built around the rather awkward nature of trying to work out how old Fang and Vanille are. Do we count years in stasis? Or do we just go with total years they've been conscious? In any case, Fang and Lightning should just consider themselves lucky that _Ordinary Heroes_ disregards the events of FF XIII-2 otherwise they'd have to explain time travel as well. Besides, teasing Fang is fun, and Lightning deserves a little bit of payback for all the times that Fang has gotten the best of her in a verbal stoush.

And yes, Diana's little complaint about ice cream is a reference to Chapter 2 of _Ordinary Heroes_. May ice cream flavours always have romantic connotations.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	12. Chapter 12

**Note: This chapter is set in a universe combining _Ordinary Heroes_ and _Superhero_. It has also been written for Halloween. Note also that because this is set in a universe incorporating _Superhero_, characters will refer to Lightning as 'Claire'.**

X X X

**Tricks and Treats and Superhero Fun**

Deep within her fortress of solitude at the very heart of the South Pole, Vanille examined her plans one last time. Then she smiled. Yes, after so many months of hard work, it was finally time. Tonight, she would prove once and for all that she was the greatest genius in the history of the universe.

Her lips twitched and she struggled to hold back a cackle. Oh, why bother? There wasn't anyone else in her lab, and so long as she didn't cross the line into cartoonish super villainy a cackle or two wouldn't hurt. Right?

"Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha…" Vanille took a deep breath. She should really cackle more often. "Ahahahahahaha."

And in another part of the fortress, Fang shivered.

X X X

Diana loved Halloween, and it wasn't just for the candy. No, there was something ever better about it than candy, and that was saying something since candy was totally awesome. Halloween was the one night she could dress up like her mommy and walk around, and no one would think she was weird or anything. Even better, her mommy could walk around in her costume too, and no one would even know who she was.

"Have you got your costume on, kiddo?"

Diana perked up at the sound of her mommy's voice. "Almost, mommy." She twirled around in front of the mirror a few times and then flew up into the air to get a better look. She grinned. Perfect. Her costume was way better than the ones people could buy in stores. Her Aunt Vanille had made it for her, so it was exactly like her mommy's only a bit smaller. Or maybe a lot smaller – her mommy was really tall, and no matter how much milk Diana drank, it never seemed to make any difference.

"Come on, Diana," her mommy shouted from down the corridor. "Your mom and Averia are almost ready, and I want to see how you look in your Ultrawoman costume."

"Okay, mommy!" Diana gave her reflection one last, admiring look and then raced toward the door. "I'll be right –"

CLANG.

"Owie…" Diana stumbled away from the door and rubbed her head. She'd forgotten that the door didn't open fast enough for her to get through if she was moving at full speed. Well, at least she wasn't a normal kid, otherwise that would have really hurt. She frowned and looked at the door. Her mom wouldn't be too happy when she saw the big dent in it, but at least it was metal, so they could just bend it back in place. The last time she'd run into a wooden door, the whole thing had blown up, which had been really cool until her mom had told her to clean it up – and without using her powers either. "Coming, mommy!"

X X X

Fang chuckled as Diana flew into view. The girl was a chip off the old block, right down to running into doors. She'd done that a few times when she was younger, even ripped a hole in one of the matrons' walls. It was a good thing that she'd become quite good at home maintenance and repair, otherwise they'd have had to rely on Vanille's robots for everything, and the red head's robots tended to be much better at blowing things up than putting them back together.

"Well, don't you look good," Fang drawled.

Diana flitted through the air in front of Fang and struck what Fang suspected was supposed to be an appropriately heroic pose. On the little girl, however, it just looked cute, although the billowing cape was a nice touch.

"Yeah!" Diana glared at the far wall. "I just wish I had my heat vision then things would be even cooler." She paused. "Well, even hotter, but you know what I mean."

Fang smiled. She loved Diana, she really did, but it was something of a blessing that the girl hadn't developed her heat vision yet. It wasn't that Diana was a naughty child. She was simply a little mischievous. Most children though, couldn't punch through walls or fly. Add heat vision to the mix and Diana would become the world's greatest accidental weapon of mass destruction.

"It looks like you're ready."

Fang turned as Claire and Averia came into view. She smirked. She'd always been a fan of Claire's Lady Lightning costume. It was the skirt that did it. Claire's legs were a work of art equal to any masterpiece, and more than one super villain had met their doom after being caught staring. And Claire looked even better in the costume now than she had when they'd first met. Claire had been a young woman then – a very sexy young woman – but she was a woman in her prime now, and she was Fang's wife. That last part gave her about a billion bonus points in the sexiness department.

"Looking good there, sparky." Fang leered. "Really good."

Claire sighed. "Fang, my eyes are up here." When Fang's eyes moved up from her legs only to stop at her chest, she flicked a small bolt of electricity at the other woman. It wasn't enough to do any damage, but hopefully it would remind Fang that there were young and impressionable children around – their children. Later, of course, when they were alone, Fang could leer all she wanted.

"Oh, come on," Fang whined. "It's not like I get much time to ogle you when we're working."

Claire rolled her eyes. Fang could be such a kid sometimes. "You shouldn't be ogling me at all while we're working." Her lips curled and she gave Fang a good looking over. "Still, you're looking pretty good yourself."

"Of course." Fang gave her costume a pat. "I always look good." Her gaze shifted to Averia. The girl was dressed in a smaller version of Claire's costume. "Not bad." She gave Averia two thumbs up. "Definitely much better than a tutu."

"Mommy!" Averia hissed. She waved one fist in the air as little tendrils of lightning crackled along her fingertips. "Stop teasing me about that. There wasn't anything else I could change into."

Fang grinned. "So… you're telling me that you went off to save the world in a bright pink tutu because the only thing you could think of to take in a costume shop was a bright pink tutu?"

"I didn't have enough money to buy anything else," Averia grumbled. "And I didn't want to steal anything."

"Fair enough." Fang chuckled and reached over to pat Averia's hair back down. Whenever the girl's control over her electricity slipped, her hair puffed out into something that vaguely resembled a waterlogged porcupine. It was just a shame that Fang had never seen Claire lose control like that. "Maybe we should talk to your Aunt Vanille about making you something to wear. In a few more years, you'll be ready to go out on patrol with me or your mom, and I am not going to let one of my daughters fight crime in a tutu." Averia scowled. "So, now that we're all here, where do you want to go first? Halloween is pretty big in Nautilus so –"

"Hold it right there!" Vanille burst into the room. Looking about furtively, she pressed several buttons on one of the walls. A few seconds later, a huge image appeared. It showed the entire world along with several numbered routes, all of them glowing brightly. "You need to look at this first."

"What is that?" Fang asked. She really, really wanted to believe that Vanille wasn't about to come up with something crazy, but a lifetime of experience suggested otherwise.

"Look, we can't just go around doing Halloween like normal people." Vanille nodded gravely. "After all, we aren't normal people. We're superheroes, and that means we should do Halloween like only superheroes can." She pointed at the image. "Over the past year, I've been running a series of in depth simulations based on over a decade's worth of data. I've examined every major city in the world, and I've factored in everything from the average amount of candy given per house to the average distance between houses that give candy." She slapped one hand on the wall. "And after doing all of that, I came up with this. I call it SUHPOTS."

"SUHPOTS?" Claire's eye twitched, and honestly, Fang couldn't blame her. "What does that mean?"

"I'm glad you asked." Vanille looked at Diana and Averia. "You know that thing we talked about? This is it." The girls' eyes widened. "SUHPOTS stands for Super Ultimate Halloween Plan Of Total Success."

There was absolute silence from Fang and Claire – and wild, rapturous applause from Diana and Averia.

Fang shared another look with Claire. Over the years, she'd grown quite used to Vanille's little eccentricities, although there were times when she wondered if maybe her sister was about to descend into cartoonish super villainy. This was definitely one of those times. Worse, the girls actually seemed to be considering whatever Vanille was going on about. Oh, Claire was going to kill her if the girls picked up all of Vanille's quirks.

"Can you explain your plan, Aunt Vanille?" Averia asked. "What do you all the numbers mean?"

Vanille gave Averia an imperious look. "Of course, I can." She pointed at the image. "The numbers indicate the order that you should visit each city, and the glowing routes between each city show the path that you should take." She tapped one of the cities and the image zoomed in to show the city in greater detail. "I've also included the specific route that you need to take in each city to maximise your return."

"Our return?" Diana's eyes gleamed. "Do you mean how much candy we get?"

Vanille nodded sagely. "Precisely so, Diana."

There was more wild applause from the girls as Vanille basked in their adulation. In the meantime, Fang and Lightning could only look on in horrified fascination. On the upside, at least Vanille hadn't come up with a plan to conquer the world, although Fang had reason to believe that the red head had at least a dozen such plans hidden away somewhere.

"You see, girls, I know how much you love candy, and being the awesome aunt that I am, I've planned everything to ensure that you get the maximum amount of candy possible over the course of Halloween. I've even taken into account the presence of multiple time zones across the planet's surface." Vanille smiled beatifically. "It's absolutely perfect."

Fang felt a headache forming, and from the looks of it, so did Claire.

"Hmmm…" Averia frowned and studied the image more closely. "But we can't fly fast enough to reach all of these places."

Vanille grinned evilly. "Maybe you can't, but your parents can."

"Oh no." Fang held her hands up. "We are not…"

"Please, mommy," Diana begged. "Please…"

Fang gulped.

"Don't look at her, Fang!" Claire shouted.

Fang bit her lip. It might sound cruel, but Claire was right. Diana was too cute for her own good – there were even times when Fang wondered if the girl had some kind of mind control power, but all the tests had come back negative – and so she turned away, only for Diana to float right up to eye level. Damn it. Diana's eyes were so big and blue, and now they were watering up, and she was clasping her hands in front of her, and for crying out loud, now her lips were doing that trembling thing. Maker it wasn't fair. Diana was cute enough to turn rainbows into syrup, and transform puppies and kittens into little puddles of sugary goo.

"Please, mommy…"

"Gah!" Fang tried to look away again, but it was pointless. "Fine," she mumbled. "I guess, we could fly you around." She looked over at Claire. "What do you think?"

"I'm not sure." Claire was, for some reason, largely immune to Diana's cuteness attack, but that didn't mean she was safe from Averia.

"But, mom," Averia pointed out, voice calm and even. "We have been doing very well at school lately, and you did promise to take us flying this week. Besides, following Aunt Vanille's directions will help teach us how to follow mission plans and…"

Fang felt some small measure of victory as Averia used logic to get Claire to give in. As weaknesses went, Diana's pout wasn't such a bad one to have, especially since only the little girl could deploy it. Of course, now that Fang thought about it, she also had a tendency to cave whenever Averia pouted, or Vanille pouted, or Claire pouted or… damn… she really was a sucker for people close to her pouting wasn't she?

"All right," Fang said as she wrapped her arms around Diana. "I guess we should be going."

Diana giggled. "Yay! Candy, away!"

"Wait, wait!" Vanille shouted as she tossed two normal looking cloth bags at Fang and Claire. "Take these."

Fang paused. "What are they? They just look like regular bags."

"Look closer," Vanille said.

"Okay." Fang narrowed her eyes, and then blinked as the sub-atomic structure of the bag revealed itself. Wow. Whatever the bag was, it was most definitely not a normal cloth bag. "What is this?"

"I could give you an hour long lecture about what they are and how they work, but basically, you could call them spatial compression containment devices, or SCCDs for short." Vanille grinned. "It's my answer to the duffel bag."

"So what exactly does it do?" Claire asked. With any luck, it wouldn't involve explosions.

"Essentially, each of those bags is capable of vastly compressing matter for storage. In other words, you can fit a whole lot more into those bags than you should be able to because the bag shrinks them to fit. Once you take things out, they'll decompress back to their normal size." Vanille chuckled. "Even Santa himself could not do better. Based on my testing, you'll be able to fit several tonnes of candy into each of those bags."

Several. Tonnes. Of. Candy.

Diana and Averia looked like they'd died and gone to heaven.

Claire stared. "That's incredible." She scowled. "Have you given any thought to using these for something other than candy? You could revolutionise storage."

"Well…" Vanille winced. "They're not exactly finished yet. You see, the last few prototypes sort of exploded. One of them even did this weird thing where it sent the contents to a parallel dimension." Claire's scowl became a glare, a very scary glare. "But don't worry," Vanille said quickly. "The ones I gave you should be fine. The only thing is, even though I can make things smaller, I haven't worked out how to reduce their weight."

"I see." Fang rubbed her temple. "So if you put, say, four tonnes of candy in one of these, it might look small but it will still weigh four tonnes." Vanille nodded. "No wonder you gave these to us then, we're probably the only ones who can carry them around without worrying about that."

Vanille smiled sunnily. "I'm so glad to have such a smart sister." She shooed the others toward the door. "Now, get going. There's candy out there waiting for you."

X X X

Claire sighed as she walked up to the latest house on Vanille's little hit list. As much as she hated to admit it, the other woman had done a brilliant job in planning everything out. So far, they'd managed to collect more candy than she'd ever thought possible, and they still had half a dozen cities to hit. The girls were over the moon, and if she and Fang didn't have superhuman strength, they would have been crushed under the weight of all the candy in Vanille's specially modified bags.

Still, it was hard to get too annoyed when the girls were having so much fun. Diana loved special occasions like Halloween, and she practically skipped from house to house, taking in all of the decoration on display, and making sure to be extra cute whenever they had to knock on a door. Even Averia had gotten into the spirit of things, although it was a very, very good thing that it was Halloween, otherwise people might have been a little more curious about the lightning that occasionally crackled around Averia. As it was, most people seemed to think it was the greatest costume ever.

And speaking of costumes… if one more person tried to take a photo of her in her costume, she was going to kill someone. Sure, people took photos of her all the time when she was doing her hero work, but this was different. She was simply trying to have a nice night out with her family. So if she just happened to be surrounded by a field of static electricity that temporarily shorted out people's phones and cameras that was just too bad, and she certainly didn't have anything thing to do with it.

"Is this the place, mom?" Diana asked, breaking Claire out of her thoughts.

Claire nodded. "Yes."

"Good." Diana skipped over to the front door, taking a few moments to look at all of the pumpkins set up around the front lawn along with the scarecrow on the porch. Averia was a step behind her as Claire and Fang hung back to watch.

Diana knocked on the door, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, and a few moments later, a kindly old lady opened it.

"My, aren't you two cute?" The old lady smiled. "You two look just like Lady Lightning and Ultrawoman." She glanced past them and gasped. "And those must be your parents? Why, you've all put so much effort into your costumes." She offered Diana and Averia some candy. "Here, have some. You deserve some for working so hard."

Diana eyed the candy. There was a lot of it. "Yay!" she cried as she rose a few inches into the air.

"Oh." The old woman tilted her head to one side. "That's definitely not something I've seen before."

Claire winced, but thankfully, Averia had the situation under control. The older girl, quickly grabbed hold of Diana, making it appear as though she were holding the other girl up.

"My sister likes to pretend she can fly." Averia smiled. "Sometimes, she even pretends she has heat vision."

"Well, isn't that nice." The old woman smiled. "How about you show me your heat vision?"

"Okay." Diana giggled and glared at a nearby pumpkin.

There was a flash of red light and the pumpkin promptly burst into flames.

Claire stared. "Fang… please tell me that you did that."

Fang gulped. "No, that was Diana."

"I see." Claire paused. There were times when discretion was the better part of valour. "Grab the girls."

Bidding the old woman a speedy farewell, Claire and Fang whisked the girls away from the house and up into the air. It was the last house for that city anyway, and after Diana's display, it was better safe than sorry.

"Cool!" Diana cried as they sped through the air. "Now, I can melt things with my eyes!"

X X X

"I'm coming."

Tifa padded to the door of the apartment as the rest of AVALANCHE continued to party away in the living room. Well, most of the rest of AVALANCHE. Cloud and Vincent didn't exactly do partying. They'd already had their fair share of trick-or-treaters come to the door, but when she opened the door she did a bit of a double take. Then she began to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Averia grumbled. "Come on, Aunt Tifa, stop laughing."

Tifa nodded and did her best to rein in her laughter. She had been expecting the girls to turn up on Halloween – the superhero community was fairly close-knit, after all – but she hadn't expected them to come dressed as their parents. Still, apart from their eyes, they were perfect little replicas of Lady Lightning and Ultrawoman.

"I'm a little surprised, that's all." She waved the family inside. "Come inside. We've got lots of candy, and I'm sure your parents could use a rest."

Averia nodded gravely. "Thank you." She paused. "You're our last stop, you know, and Aunt Vanille calculated that you give out more candy than anyone else in the city." She paused. "That's really cool."

"Your last stop?" Tifa looked past Averia to where Claire and Fang were holding what seemed to be fairly empty looking bags. "But you don't seem to have that much candy."

"Oh, they've got a lot of candy." Claire's eye twitched and Tifa braced herself. Usually, when Lady Lightning's eye twitched like that it meant lightning, a whole lot of lightning.

"Really/" Tifa tilted her head to one side as Diana and Averia ran past her to talk to the rest of AVALANCHE. "Mind explaining?"

Tifa listened carefully as Claire and Fang recounted Vanille's plan to her. She hadn't worked closely with Ultragirl, but she'd always known that the superhero was brilliant. This, however, was bordering on something a Saturday morning cartoon super villain would come up with.

"That's… crazy. Crazy, but brilliant." Tifa shook her head slowly. "And those bags actually work?"

Fang nodded. "So far. We haven't been sent to another dimension or anything yet."

"I see." Tifa took a step back. "Tell Vanille to give the professor a visit, I'm sure he'd like to talk with her about some possible applications."

"I'll do that." Fang nodded. "Oh, but we should get going." She looked past Tifa to find Diana in the middle of explaining the wonders of bringing fiery death to things with her heat vision to Yuffie while Averia seemed to be discussing the merits of a bigger, more extravagant cape with Vincent. "Kids, you know?"

Tifa chuckled. "Kids." She paused. "Your sure you won't stay? We'd be happy to have you…"

"No, it's okay." Fang grinned. "We've got to get back to the fortress before Vanille comes up with anything else, and then we're going to go visit my mother."

"I see." Tifa nodded. "Give her my regards then."

"I will." Fang smiled. "Oh, and just in case you wanted to know, Snow and Serah should be here with little Claire in about five minutes."

"Really?" Tifa laughed. "Superhuman vision?"

Fang nodded and waved to Diana and Averia. "Come on, girls get your candy now, we have to go."

X X X

Vanille waited patiently as the doors of the fortress opened. They were made out of materials that no one in the universe knew how to synthesise except for her. Even Fang or Claire would have a hard time breaking through them. Right now though, Vanille just wanted the doors to open faster. Her family was out there, her family and the candy.

"Aunt Vanille!" Diana shouted as she touched down and threw her arms around Vanille. Despite how young she was, Diana was always careful about her strength, but Vanille was one of the few people she could hug at full power without hurting them. "Tonight was awesome, and we got so much candy!" She grinned. "And I even got my heat vision too!" She fired a beam of it off, and Vanille calmly put one hand out to block the beam before it could burn a hole in anything.

"That's great, Diana." Vanille looked at her hand. Not bad. Diana's heat vision wasn't anywhere near hers or Fang's, but maybe in a few years…

Averia floated over. "Your plan was perfect." She nodded firmly. "And don't worry, we'll give you some of the candy, otherwise it wouldn't be fair."

Vanille had counted on exactly that. Fang and Claire had raised the girls well. According to Vanille's predictions, the girls would give her a full quarter of the haul with another quarter set aside for each of them, and the last quarter reserved for little Claire. She bit back a cackle. And the best thing about getting all the candy was that she hadn't had to lift a finger to get it. She'd just run the data through a few simulations and put together a program to plan out the route and boom – instant candy. Even better, she could just run the simulations again next year.

"That's very kind of you." Vanille chuckled as Fang and Claire drifted into the fortress. From the way they were scowling at her, they must have brought in quite a bit of candy. Fang met her gaze and gave her a dirty look before firing off a blast of her heat vision, which Vanille neatly sidestepped along with a small bolt of lightning from Claire. "Have fun tonight, you two?"

"Fun?" Claire growled as she lowered her bag to the ground. "We had to fly around with who knows how much candy the whole night. And what are we even going to do with several tonnes of candy?" She tipped the bag onto its side and Vanille started to salivate as pound after pound of candy spilled onto the ground. It was so beautiful.

"We could eat it, I guess." Vanille had to fight to maintain eye contact with Claire. Her superhuman senses could pick out the smells of so many different kinds of candy, and just the thought of eating them all… yes, let Fang and Claire think it was all for the kids. In truth, they were all working to get Vanille her candy.

Mwhahahahaha.

"Vanille why are you laughing like that?" Fang asked. She paused and looked at Diana and Averia. "And why are you laughing with her?"

Vanille winced. She hadn't meant to laugh out loud, and she certainly hadn't meant to have Averia and Diana laugh along with her. "Never mind." She swallowed thickly. There was so much candy. "Anyway, I've been keeping track of the girls' physiology. They're a lot like us Fang, so they're going to need a much higher caloric intake than the average child. You've probably noticed it already, and remember we almost ate the matron out of house and home before I got my lab up and running. So I say, we just let them eat the candy. Besides, it's not like they can get cavities, and we could always help them too."

"I suppose." Fang sighed and looked at Diana who was hopping from foot to foot. "Yes, you can do it now."

"Yay!"

And with that Diana took a flying leap right into the small mountain of candy.

A few moments passed.

"Averia," Claire said. "Can you go pull your sister out before she drowns in all that candy?"

Averia nodded. "Okay."

And as Averia dove into the candy in pursuit of her sister, Vanille quietly began to load her portion of the haul into another one of her specially designed bags. There was so much candy, and so much of it was hers. Perfect. Everything was falling into place.

Mwhahahaha.

"Vanille, you need to stop doing that. It's creepy." Claire frowned. "And I don't want the kids learning to cackle. People are going to think they're super villains not superheroes."

Oops. She probably should tone it down a little. But as she walked back to her lab with her bag of candy, Vanille couldn't stop herself from giving a little cackle under her breath. "Mwhahahaha… hahaha."

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

Well, I had a lot of fun with this one. It's Halloween, and even if it isn't a big deal where I live, it's still fun to toss ideas around. Besides, after the most recent chapter of _Whispers of the Gods_, I needed something a little lighter to work on. Seriously, that chapter is probably the least happy thing that I've posted on this website (although some chapter of _Wasteland_ come close).

Some people are probably wondering why I keep crossing over _Ordinary _Heroes and _Superhero_. The answer is two-fold. Part of me is amused by the fact that both stories have the word 'hero' in them (yes, I am easily amused). The other reason is that it's a lot of fun. Raising kids is hard enough – giving them super powers only makes it worse. And Vanille is the ultimate cool aunt. Not only is she fun and friendly, she's also a genius with access to the most advanced lab on the planet and all the cool toys that implies. Tifa, of course, would be the more sensible aunt, and I shudder to think of what would happen if Vanille and Yuffie had the girls for the day. For people wondering where little Claire (i.e., Serah and Snow's daughter) is, don't worry, she does exist in this cross over universe, I just haven't gotten around to her yet.

For those of you who were not aware, Fang, Lightning, Serah, Snow, and Vanille are from Final Fantasy XIII. AVALANCHE are from Final Fantasy VII.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	13. Chapter 13

**Note: This involves characters from**_** Whispers of the Gods**_** and **_**Ordinary Heroes**_**. Technically speaking, the characters from **_**Whispers of the Gods**_** are from the past (i.e., from before the events of Chapter 1, but after the events of Chapter 8). This chapter is a direct sequel to Chapter 4 of ****this**** story (i.e., Chapter 4 of Final Fantasy XIII Omake Theatre).**

**X X X**

**All Mixed Up (Part 2)**

Fang winced as the doorbell rang and a familiar voice filled the air.

"Open the door, mommy!" Diana cried. "We're home!"

Under normal circumstances, Fang would have been more than happy to have her daughters around. She loved them to bits, never mind how strange they could be – and she was hardly one to talk. But these were not normal circumstances.

It had taken her the better part of an hour to convince the goddess that had replaced Lightning to change into some more normal clothes. And then she'd made the mistake of trying to cook breakfast. The goddess had regarded the kitchen with the sort wary caution normally reserved for a mortal enemy and had promptly reduced the toaster to a puddle of molten slag after it had startled her. The microwave had met a similar fate before Fang finally managed to hustle Lightning out of the kitchen and into the dining room.

"Who is at the door?" Lightning asked. Fang was glad that the goddess had reined in the aura that had surrounded her earlier. Now she could actually look at Lightning without feeling the urge to drop onto her knees in awe. Even so, there was still something inhuman about the goddess, something that lingered in the unearthly perfection of her features and the unnatural gleam of her eyes. There was absolutely no way the kids wouldn't notice.

"Our daughters," Fang replied. "Well, not ours, but my and my Lightning's daughters."

"Yes." Lightning's expression was unreadable, but the air was suddenly thick and almost heavy. Already, Fang had come to realise that this was something the goddess did whenever she was deep in thought. "Tell me, how did that come to be? In my world, two women cannot have children."

"It's complicated." Fang stood and headed toward the door. "Look, I have to let them in, otherwise they'll know something is wrong. Try not to be so…"

"So what?" Lightning's voice snapped out like a whip and Fang fought the urge to flinch. Damn this Lightning was scary, and there was no way that the rumble from outside was a coincidence considering that there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

"Like that." Fang sighed. "It's just… they're children, so try not to get upset if they do anything weird."

"Weird?" Lightning frowned. "What sort of children have you raised?"

"They're kind of strange." Fang chuckled. "Well, that makes it sound bad, but they're good kids – only a little bit strange some of the time." Her eyes narrowed. "And I don't care if you are a goddess or whatever, but if you hurt them, I'll make you sorry."

"I see." The goddess's gaze softened a fraction. "You may rest assured, no harm will come to them. My sword is meant only for the wicked. Innocent children have no need to fear me. As for strange…" She scowled. "I have a great deal of experience with that. The Fang of my world is… vexing, as our some of the other gods."

Fang was sorely tempted to ask Lightning what she meant by that, but decided it could wait till another time. "Good. Now, I'm going to answer the door. Stay calm."

The second Fang got the door open Diana hit her with a flying tackle. The little girl didn't mind spending the night at her cousin's house, but home was even better. All her stuff was there. And there was also the small matter of breakfast, which she could smell from the front door. Slithering onto Fang's back, she urged the woman to make a beeline for the food. Behind them, Averia, Claire and Serah followed at a more sedate pace.

"I don't know where she gets all that energy," Serah murmured with a yawn. "They were up all night watching movies, and I know we didn't feed her any sugar." She gave Fang a grin. "Although I'm guessing you and Lightning were up last night as well, right?"

Fang put on her best smile. "Yeah, you could say that. Hey, do you think that –" she stopped as Diana leapt off her back and ran into the dining room. She was probably going to go throw herself at Lightning like she always did… wait. "Diana!"

All too aware of all the horrible things that could go wrong, Fang ran after her daughter. She arrived just in time to see Diana take a leap at Lightning. The goddess's eyes widened and for a split second, Fang could barely breath. Lightning had said she didn't harm children, but she'd also melted the toaster and the microwave for startling her, and having a little girl flying through the air with arms outstretched and yelling at the top of her lungs had to be startling. But in the end, the goddess simply got to her feet and let Diana crash into her.

"Ouch!" Diana winced as she practically bounced off Lightning. The girl huffed and shook one fist at the goddess. "Mom! You're supposed to catch me, not let me run into you! And you're all tough, like you're made of stone or something."

Breathing a sigh of relief as Diana continued to rail at the horrible injustice of her treatment, Fang sank into one of the chairs at the dining table. Thank the Maker. But she wasn't out of the woods yet. She wasn't sure how people treated gods in Lightning's world, but she had a feeling that getting lectures from children wasn't part of the their everyday life.

She was about to ask Diana to stop when she noticed the strangest look on Lightning's face. Rather than looking angry, there was only a sort of puzzled wonder on the goddess's face, as though she couldn't quite understand what she was looking at. Indeed, her gaze was fixed on Diana, and slowly, gently, she picked the girl up to hold her at eye level.

"You are Diana?"

Diana giggled. "Stop being silly, mom. Of course, I am!" She somehow managed to squirm out of Lightning grasp and clambered onto the goddess's back.

"You have my eyes." Lightning turned her head to one side and came nose-to-nose with Diana. The girl grinned and rubbed her cheek against Lightning's. "But you have Fang's hair."

"I know." Diana pouted as Lightning plucked her off her back and once again held her at arm's length. "But I wish I had your hair too, mom. Pink hair is so cool."

"Is it?" Lightning tilted her head to one side. "What do you mean by cool?" But then she froze as Serah and the others entered the dining room.

"Lightning?" Fang whispered.

_There is a Serah in my world._ The voice in Fang's head was undoubtedly the goddess's. _But she is still a child. This… this Serah is not, and that child – the one with the blue eyes – she must be her daughter._ There was something akin to awe in Lightning's voice, which Fang couldn't understand. Didn't gods have children in Lightning's world?

Serah glanced from Fang to Lightning. "Diana, why don't you go into the living room and watch some cartoons? They're on at this time, aren't they?"

Diana nodded and scurried off, dragging Averia and Claire after her. As they left, Fang caught the worried expression on Averia's face as she looked at Lightning. She must have noticed something was wrong.

Once the girls were gone, Serah rounded on Lightning, a knife appearing in her hand from out of nowhere. No, Fang thought, not out of nowhere. The pink haired woman must have concealed it in the sleeve of her blouse somehow. Trust Lightning to teach her sister something like that.

"Who are you?" Serah growled. She glared at first Fang and then Lightning. "And don't bother lying to me. I know my sister, and you aren't her."

"Serah, put the knife down –"

"Don't tell me to put the knife down, Fang!" Serah's voice came out in a hiss. "I want to know what is happening right now."

Lightning looked at Fang and then vanished in a blur of movement. An instant later, she had her hand wrapped around Serah's knife and without taking her eyes off the pink haired woman she crushed the weapon between her fingers. "You are right. I am not your sister." She tugged the knife out of Serah's hand and dropped the mangled piece of metal onto the floor. "Fang, explain it to her."

So Fang did, and by the time she was finished, Serah had slumped into one of the other chairs, her face buried in her hands.

"How are we going to get her back?" Serah whispered, on the verge of tears. "And what if something happens to her? She's alone in that other world, Fang. And the girls… Maker, what are we going to tell them?"

"Tell them nothing," Lightning said. "And your Lightning will not be alone. The Fang of my world is… a friend, and she will see to her safety. And once the High Mother and High Father find out what has happened, they will take steps to return things to their natural order."

"Your Fang…" Serah whispered. "Is she also a goddess?"

"Yes, she is the Fang of the Heavens and a goddess of the wind." Lightning's jaw tightened. "She is also extremely irksome and lacking in the decorum one would associate with her rank as one of the High Mother's most exalted children."

To Fang's amazement, Serah began to laugh.

"Serah?"

The pink haired woman scrubbed at her cheeks. "It's just… did you hear what she said, Fang? She's so like Lightning it's scary." She looked back at the goddess. "Do you ever hit your Fang?"

The goddess's lips twitched. "I do. It does not seem to discourage her. If anything, it does the opposite." She scowled. "Even my home offers little respite from her attempts to improve my mood and it does not help in the least that she has subverted my Serah to her cause." She growled. "In my world, you are a but a child amongst the gods, a gift from the High Mother to ease the burden of my duty." Her eyes softened. "And I could ask for no finer gift."

Serah smiled. "I'm glad you and your Serah get along. In this world, Lightning and I went through a few rough patches before we fixed everything up." She dragged in a deep breath. "So what do we do now?"

"What can we do?" Fang asked. She shuddered. "I could always ask Vanille if she knows anything that could help, but at this point, I'm not sure if that would make things better or worse."

"We wait." Lightning closed her eyes and Fang and Serah shivered as a small measure of the goddess's power filled the room. "My powers feel strange here, but I have been gathering them as best I can. Come nightfall, I shall call out to the High Mother again, but with more force this time. If we are fortunate, she will hear me and know where to direct her aid."

"I guess." Fang leaned back in her chair. She hated being helpless like this. If only there was something she could fight or kill to get Lightning back, things would be much simpler.

"Would it be all right if I spoke to the children?" Lightning asked, voice little more than a whisper.

Fang sat up. "Lightning?"

"You seem… so happy with them, and they love you and your Lightning so much." Lightning's gaze grew distant. "You have fought for your happiness and now you enjoy a life of peace with your family at your side. But my duty has no end."

"Lightning…" Fang clenched her fists. "That's… I mean…"

"I do not begrudge the High Mother the duty she has set upon me. Through my efforts, the world is kept safe, and peace and order are maintained amongst the gods. And she has also seen fit to reward me with a sister – one who will never doubt me or abandon me despite all the blood that I must shed. Yet I am curious about this world and the life that you and your Lightning live. The Fang of my world once asked me what I would be without my duty and I could not answer her. Perhaps my time here will provide me with that answer."

Fang swallowed thickly. She hadn't given the goddess's life a great deal of consideration – she'd been too worried about her Lightning. Yet now that she thought about it, it sounded horrible. "I guess that would be okay." She grinned. "Come on, I bet you don't have television where you're from, and there's no time like the present to learn about Gary the Gorgonopsid."

X X X

Fang looked down at the distinctly mortal Lightning in front of her. They were on their way to Cocoon to speak to the High Mother, but there were a few things she needed to get straightened out before they arrived.

"So in your world, you and I are wed?" Fang asked. Lightning was maintaining a death grip on one of Bahamut's scales as the dragon soared through the sky.

"Yes." Lightning scowled and Fang bit back a smile. It seemed even a mortal Lightning could scowl quite ferociously. "Are you sure that this High Mother of yours can help me?"

Fang nodded. "The High Mother's power is immense. If she cannot help you return to your world, then I doubt that anyone can." Lightning's grip on Bahamut's scales slipped and she darted forward to catch the mortal before she could fall off. "Here, let me hold you."

Lightning stiffened for a moment and then relaxed. "Fine."

How amusing, Fang thought. This Lightning had a scowl very much like hers. "Tell me, Lightning, how did you and your Fang come to be wed?"

"It's a long story." Lightning scowl faded.

"We have a lot of time."

"Fine." Lightning sighed. "It all started like this…"

Listening to Lightning talk, Fang fought the urge to laugh. What a wonderfully bizarre relationship the mortal Lightning and Fang had! And the children… just the thought of the other goddess trying to deal with the mortal Lightning and Fang's children brought a smile to her face.

Ahead of them, Cocoon loomed large in the sky and Fang tugged Lightning closer. "Stay with me, and do not say anything unless you have to. The goddess that you have replaced is feared and revered amongst the other gods. If they realise that she is gone, panic will break out and our enemies will act." She paused. "Try to glare too. That should help."

Lightning frowned and then glared.

Fang's lips curled. "Yes, that should do."

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

I've been meaning to come back to this one for a while now, since it's been rattling around in my brain for quite some time. I had considered setting this after the events in Lightning's past detailed in Chapter 12 of _Whispers of the Gods_, but decided against it since it would probably end up way too angst ridden (can you imagine what Lightning would think seeing a living Serah again? Shudder…). That said, this is supposed to be a fun piece (though there were some serious moments at the end). Ah, poor goddess Lightning… she's going to learn about the horror that is Gary the Gorgonopsid and what it means to watch several hours of children's cartoons. As if she didn't have enough emotional problems…

Also, you can find links to my blog and deviant art in my profile, along with links to eBook versions of Ordinary Heroes. I would also like to mention redkid11 who has a comic of Chapter 12 of Whispers of the Gods up on her deviant art. Head on over and take a look (there is a link to her deviant art profile in my profile). Finally, I would also like to mention denebtenoh who has a picture of Lightning from Of Gods and Demons up on her deviant (link in my profile).

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	14. Chapter 14

**Note: This chapter is set in the same universe as **_**Ordinary Heroes**_**. No hamsters or chocobos were hurt in the writing of this chapter.**

**X X X**

**New Pet On The Block**

"Chirpy!" Diana cried.

Chirpy looked up and did his best impression of a grin, although that wasn't saying very much since chocobos were not, by and large, very good at grinning. It had something to do with the lack of lips.

Diana was one of his favourite people in the world – and his favourite under four feet tall. Each visit meant hugs, treats enough good cheer to last him at least three lifetimes. It was just a shame that Averia didn't seem to be with her this time. The other girl could be a little dour at times, but Chirpy had spent a lot of his time as a chick around Lightning so he didn't mind. It was also hard to be intimidated by her scowl when he was bigger than her.

"Kweh!"

Diana bounded over to the chocobo pen, leaving Lightning behind to talk with Sazh, and Chirpy hustled over to meet her. The other chocobos were content to keep their distance – they'd learned the hard way that Diana liked to hug everything and that trying to shrug her off was a good way to get a gun blade pointed at them.

However, there was something different about Diana. This time, she'd come carrying a small, furry little thing in her arms. It looked kind of like a big rat.

Wait. That wasn't a rat.

That thing was Mr Cuddles.

Diana had mentioned him the last few times she'd visited. The girl had gushed about how cute and cuddly the hamster was and how awesome it was that she got to bring him home sometimes. Chirpy scowled as best he could. He never got to go home with Diana, and although he had fine gold feathers and could run like the wind, he wasn't cute and cuddly anymore.

This was supposed to be his time with Diana, but seeing her clutch the hamster to her chest with a sunny smile on her face, he realised something horrible.

Mr Cuddles wasn't any old pet. He was the new pet on the block. He was the competition.

The chocobo's eyes narrowed. It wasn't like he kept track or anything, but he was very proud of his #2 ranking on Diana's list of all things that weren't human. Bahamut – Fang's Eidolon – had stood atop the rankings for as long as he could remember, but that didn't bother him. After all, Bahamut was a big metal dragon that could fly. His #2 ranking put him ahead of Gary the Gorgonopsid (#3 for the past twelve months) and Odin (demoted to #4 to make way for Gary).

But Mr Cuddles was something else. He could accept losing to a dragon, but he absolutely refused to lose to a hamster even if the hamster was one of the cutest things he'd ever seen. Damn it, if he thought Mr Cuddles was cute then Diana had no hope of resisting the little rodent's charms.

"Look who I brought to see you, Chirpy!" Diana held Mr Cuddles out so he could get a better look. "It's Mr Cuddles!"

Chirpy took a few steps forward then bent down to sniff the smaller animal. The hamster shivered and tried to get away, scampering up Diana's arm and burrowing against her chest. Trembling, Mr Cuddles made a few frightened noises before turning his big, dark eyes on Chirpy.

At that moment, Chirpy felt like the worst chocobo in the world. He'd been so worried about being replaced in Diana's affections that he hadn't even considered how things might be for Mr Cuddles. The hamster was only a little guy, and now that he thought about it, it must be scary for him to be outside. Honestly, Mr Cuddles wasn't even that fast, and he didn't have the claws or teeth to fight off predators. He wasn't a threat, just a pet trying to get by.

Gently, he nudged Mr Cuddles with his beak and offered a comforting kweh.

"See, I knew you two would be friends!"

Chirpy didn't speak hamster (although he prided himself on his ability to understand human _and _Eidolon), so he did his best to sound as non-threatening as possible. Holding Mr Cuddles out to Chirpy again, Diana turned and shouted to Lightning.

"Look, mom! Look! They're friends! I told you they'd be friends!"

And that was when Mr Cuddles made his move. With all the speed of a viper, the hamster darted forward and poked Chirpy in the eye with his paw. Chirpy squawked and staggered back, one wing coming up to brush at his eye. That little rat! Mr Cuddles had poked him right in the eye. He was going to get him for that – peck him right between the eyes! Chirpy lunged only to stop dead in his tracks when Diana turned back around.

"No, Chirpy!" Diana wrapped her arms around Mr Cuddles. "Leave Mr Cuddles alone!" She scowled. "You're supposed to be friends. Don't pick on him when I'm not looking."

Chirpy tried to tell her what had happened, using his wing to point at first his eye then Mr Cuddles. "Kweh kweh kweh… KWEH!"

"That's silly. Mr Cuddles wouldn't poke you in the eye. It was probably an accident." Diana stroked the hamster's fur. "See? He's too cute to hurt anyone."

Chirpy glared but backed away. Maybe it had been an accident. But then Diana turned around again and…

Mr Cuddles was grinning at him. The little hamster was grinning at him. The fluffy rat had done it on purpose.

Oh that was it. Cute or not, Chirpy wasn't about to go down without a fight. Yes, he'd get Lightning and Sazh to take Diana inside for some afternoon tea. He could stay outside with Mr Cuddles and get to know him better. At least, that's what they would think.

"Kweh kweh… kweh… kweh…." Chirpy hissed the words out at Mr Cuddles. (Translation: "You're dead, rat.")

The hamster just smiled back and gave a few squeaks. (Translation: "Bring it, you overgrown chicken.")

Game on.

And somewhere far away Bahamut smiled. Everything was going to plan.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

This is the very opposite of serious. Mr Cuddles (Diana's class pet from _Ordinary Heroes_) is the sweetest, cutest little thing in the story. But what if he wasn't? What if he was actually a miniature Machiavelli plotting to steal Diana's affections away? Well, this story is my attempt to answer that. After all, Chirpy's seen a lot in his life, and an evil hamster wouldn't even crack the top ten. Bahamut, of course, is there in the background, pulling both of their strings to ensure that his status as Diana's #1 favourite non-human remains unchallenged (while Odin quietly sobs into his cereal about being #4 – he's losing to Gary, an imaginary, bright orange gorgonopsid…).

Also, if you're interested to know what I would ship if I didn't ship FLight, you can find the answer to that question on my blog (link in my profile). The answer may (or may not) surprise you.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	15. Chapter 15

**Love At First Sight**

Chirpy might have been a chocobo, but he knew a lot about love.

There were different kinds of love. There was the fatherly love Sazh had for Dajh. It was what made the older man's eyes go all misty whenever another year rolled past and Dajh got that little bit taller and broader at the shoulders.

Then there was sisterly love. He had a lot of examples for that. There was Fang and Vanille, Lightning and Serah, and Averia and Diana. Sisterly love was why Lightning let Serah boss her around, and why Fang never seemed to mind Vanille's mischief. And only sisterly love could possibly explain all the strangeness Averia put up with from Diana.

And of course there was romantic love. Chirpy saw lots of that too. Every time Vanille and Hope came around, it took everything he had not to throw up from all the googly eyes they made at each other. And the less often Serah and Snow decided to get all cuddly beside the chocobo pen, the better.

And then there was that… weird kind of love between Fang and Lightning. Chirpy had seen a lot of married couples during his time at the ranch, but none of them acted like those two. If he didn't know better, he'd have sworn Fang and Lightning hated each other. Most of their conversations were a mix of veiled threats, name calling, teasing and physical violence (Lightning was a skilled proponent of the head whack and the left hook, whereas Fang preferred to pinch cheeks and go with the overhand right).

But despite all the strangeness – and it was strange, even to a chocobo – it was clear that Fang and Lightning did love each other. They even had two of Chirpy's favourite children to show for it (Claire rounded out the top three since Dajh wasn't really a kid anymore).

But despite everything Chirpy knew about love, he never thought he'd actually find it for himself. Sure, he wanted a few chicks of his own – all chocobos did – but he wasn't like most chocobos. The other chocobos thought he was strange for liking people so much, and to them kids like Diana weren't cute and friendly; they were just shorter adults who made a lot of noise. Maybe it was because he'd spent so much time around people when he was a chick, but he couldn't help how he'd been raised, and he wouldn't trade the adventure he'd been on for anything.

So imagine his surprise when he finally ran into another chocobo who liked people as much as he did. He didn't know her name, but the first time he saw her, she was over in one of the other pens with a group of visiting school children. Unlike the others, she didn't seem to mind one bit when they reached out to pet her, and she even gave a few of the more daring children a ride. The children were awed by how friendly she was and Chirpy… well, he was just awed. He'd never seen such a beautiful chocobo.

Her feathers were deep red with vivid yellow tips. It was almost like the Maker had caught the sunrise and the sunset and draped them over a chocobo. Her eyes were a warm blue, and her beak was a sleek, graceful curve. Even her claws were pretty. It took him a few seconds to realise he was staring, and by the time he noticed, his heart had begun to pound.

Uh oh.

Unless everything he knew about romantic love was wrong, he was in some serious trouble.

Other chocobos might have been put off by the idea of courting such a lovely chocobo, but Chirpy was made of sterner stuff. He'd faced down all manner of horrors with the former l'Cie, so trying to talk to another chocobo couldn't possibly be that difficult.

Wrong.

His first attempt to talk to her had ended in pathetic failure. He'd waited until he could join her in the other pen, and then he'd sidled over to squawk what he hoped was a suave greeting. Things had gone well right up until the point she'd looked at him. Then all he'd been able to manage was a strangled squawk that sounded more like a parrot before he tripped over his own feet and fell onto his face.

At least he'd gotten her to laugh – and what a lovely laugh it was.

His attempts to get to know the other chocobo better continued in more or less the same fashion – with him making an idiot of himself – until salvation appeared in the form of one of his favourite people: Fang.

"Yo."

Chirpy wandered over the edge of the pen and looked around. Normally, Fang came with the girls, but neither Diana nor Averia was there.

"Kweh?"

"They're not here today, Chirpy. You see I got a call from one of the handlers. They said you were acting strange, making funny noises and falling over all the time. Since Sazh and Dajh aren't here, I thought I'd drop by and see how you were." Fang hopped onto the fence and leaned over to pat Chirpy's feathers. "So, care to tell me what's going on?"

Chirpy took a few moments to think things over. Should he tell Fang about his problems? True, she wasn't a chocobo, but she never seemed to have problems attracting men or women, even when she wasn't trying. Of course, she didn't want anything to do with those men and women, and even if she did, they wouldn't have gotten past Lightning. So maybe Fang could help him. Casting a meaningful look at the beautiful female chocobo on the other side of the pen, Chirpy explained his problem as best he could.

"Kweh… kweh kweh! Kweh!"

Fang stared at him in silence for a full minute before she burst out laughing. Her laughter was so loud, one of the ranch hands turned to look until she waved him away. The nerve of her! Chirpy did his best to push her off the fence, but Fang managed to keep her balance.

"Sorry, sorry… it's just… well, I didn't even know chocobos could have problems like that." Fang bit back another snigger. "I thought you just kind of picked out your mates and well, you know."

With a huff, Chirpy pecked her in the leg. "Kweh, kweh!"

"Fine, I get it." Fang held up one hand and rubbed her leg with the other. He hadn't pecked her hard, but it was enough to get his point across. "You're not animals – well, you are – but you've got your own courtship thing going on and all that."

"Kweh." Chirpy nodded sagely. "Kweh."

"So you want my advice?" Fang grinned. "All right, the first thing you need to do is talk to her."

Chirpy rolled his eyes. He'd tried that already. "Kweh!"

"You've been going about it all wrong. Don't worry about trying to get her to fall in love with you and all that. Instead, try to get to know her."

"Kweh!"

"Your tongue gets all tied up and you trip over your own feet?" Fang smirked. "Welcome to the rest of the world, Chirpy. People in love have been making idiots of themselves since the dawn of time. Heck, one of the reasons I teased Lightning so much when we first met was because I couldn't get my brain and my mouth to work at the same time. Instead of saying something nice, all I could do was tease her. I'm lucky she didn't stab me – well, she tried, but I'm lucky she didn't succeed."

"Kweh?"

"No… I don't think teasing that other chocobo would work for you. Lightning is kind of strange that way." Fang patted Chirpy on the shoulder. "Look, you've got to try and relax. She's new here, right? Then she probably needs someone to talk to. Start simple: ask her about where she's from and what sorts of things she likes. Let it be all about her. Most people like talking about themselves. Well, unless they're like Lightning."

Chirpy sniggered. "Kweh."

"Yes, you're right. Lightning's hair does make her look a bit like the hedgehog she acts like. Now, get over there and give it a try. I'll be right here for moral support. Remember, we faced down the fal'Cie. There's no way you can't find the courage to talk to one pretty chocobo."

"Kweh!"

That got a roll of Fang's eyes. "Fine, one beautiful chocobo."

Fifteen minutes later and Chirpy felt like he could run on air. After a bit of hemming and hawing, he'd finally managed to string a few coherent sentences together to the other chocobo. Her name was Chocolina, and she had the voice of a silver bell. It turned out that she was from the same part of Cocoon as him. When Cocoon had fallen, she'd been raised by an explorer and had accompanied him until he'd decided to retire a few weeks ago.

Over the next fortnight, Chirpy spent a lot of time with Chocolina. She didn't seem to mind the fact that he liked people a lot, and she always had time for one of his stories about the former l'Cie and their children. He couldn't wait to introduce her to the girls.

Finally, the day came when Lightning dropped by with Diana and Averia.

"Chirpy!"

Chirpy looked up as Diana and Averia raced toward the pen. As usual, Averia was in the lead right up until Diana jumped onto her back and demanded a piggyback. In yet another display of sisterly love, Averia agreed and somehow managed to climb to the top of the fence with her giggling burden.

"Kweh kweh?" Chocolina asked.

"Kweh." Chirpy was very familiar with the two crazy human children. "Kweh."

A smile crossed Chocolina's face. So these were the Diana and Averia Chirpy had mentioned. Based on some of his stories, she'd half-expected Averia to be an ogre and Diana to be a raccoon. Careful not to move to quickly, she ambled over to the girls and gave them a polite sniff. They smelled of grass and sunshine and a few other things she couldn't quite place. They also smelled of… treats?

"Who are you?" the littler girl asked. "You weren't here last time we visited."

"Kweh."

"Her name is Chocolina," Lightning said as she ambled over to stand beside the pen. Chirpy came over and she reached over to run her fingers through his feathers. "She's new here, I think. Your mommy mentioned her, remember." She gave Chirpy an amused look.

"Oh." Diana squinted at Chocolina. "Is she the chocobo you like, Chirpy?"

It was almost enough to make Chirpy cry. He loved Diana, he really, really did, but she had absolutely no talent for keeping secrets. Averia leaned over to clamp one hand over Diana's mouth, but the damage was already done. Chocolina looked over at him with wide eyes.

"Kweh?"

"Diana, we were supposed to keep that a secret!" Averia hissed.

"Oops." Diana looked at Chocolina and held out a treat. "I'll give you this if you pretend you didn't here me."

Chirpy wanted to bash his head on the fencepost, but he couldn't, not with Chocolina right there. With nothing else to lose, he decided to go for it. "Kweh… kweh kweh."

For what seemed like forever, Chocolina stared at him and then… then she moved forward and rubbed her cheek against his.

"Kweh kweh kweh."

Chirpy froze. She liked him back. She actually liked him back. Suddenly, it didn't matter that Diana had blurted out his secret – Chocolina liked him back.

"Kweh!"

X X X

Lightning grinned at Fang. "It turns out that Chocolina likes Chirpy too."

"That so?" The kids were in the living room watching television and talking about their day with Chirpy while she and Lightning lingered over a glass of wine at the dinner table. "I knew he'd be fine. Our Chirpy is one cool chocobo."

"The kids seem to like her. She even took them for a few rides. Chirpy carried all three of us for a while too."

"He was probably trying to show off." Fang took another sip of her wine. "I wonder if we'll have to worry about him having chicks anytime soon."

"Maybe, but we'll have to call Sazh then. He should know if he's going to have grandchildren."

"Grandchildren? I suppose that's one way of thinking about it, since Chirpy is practically a son to him."

The girls hurried in from the living room.

"Mommy, is Chirpy going to get married?"

"Married?" Fang looked at Lightning for help, but the other woman merely leaned back and poured herself more wine. Traitor.

"Yeah," Diana said. "If Chirpy and Chocolina like each other and want to have kids, they have to get married!"

"Actually…" Fang trailed off, but it was too late.

"Actually what?"

Fang glanced at Averia. The older of the two girls understood that people didn't always get married before having children, so maybe she could field the question in Fang's place. No dice – Averia was giving her the exact same look that Lightning usually did. Fang had dug her own grave, now it was time for her to lie down in it.

"You see…"

"What?" Diana frowned. "Don't people have to be married to have kids?"

"Well…" Fang winced. "It's like this…"

What followed was one of the most awkward conversations that the Yun-Farron household would ever bear witness to. On the upside, Fang managed to avoid using the word 'bastard'. If she had, Lightning would have killed her.

X X X

A few weeks later, Fang was checking the mail when she came across a finely decorated envelope. The invitation inside it began:

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Chirpy and Chocolina…_

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

I've been working on a research paper recently, so I was in the mood for something a bit more light hearted and this was the most light hearted thing I could think of.

For those of you wondering where it came from, we need to all the way back to the first few chapters of _Ordinary Heroes_. When I first started writing that, Final Fantasy XIII-2 wasn't out yet, and we didn't know anything about the gender or real identity of the chocobo chick from Final Fantasy XIII. Since I liked the chocobo chick, I decided to come up with my own name and identity – Chirpy was the result of that process.

Then Final Fantasy XIII-2 came out and suddenly the chocobo chick was male and named Chocolina. I could have changed everything then, but I decided to stick with Chirpy. Now, a number of reviewers have pointed out this discrepancy, and quite a few of them have also asked me if I intend to do anything about it. I guess you could say that this chapter is my answer.

Chocolina's appearance in this chapter is modelled after her appearance in Final Fantasy XIII-2 (at least in terms of colour). Her accompanying an explorer is a nod at her tendency to, well, appear in a lot of places and times in Final Fantasy XIII-2.

On an unrelated note, in the next month or so, I will be releasing three short stories on Amazon as eBooks (the term short story is deceptive, since they are each between 15,000 and 20,000 words long). One is a high fantasy, another is a darker fantasy, and the third is a paranormal Western. If you want to follow what's going on with those, I'll keep you updated on my blog and deviant art (see my profile for links – I've started a separate blog pertaining to original fiction and writing related stuff). I've also got a post up on my blog talking about how you can learn to write better by looking more closely at what you read (i.e., reading to learn as opposed to simply reading to enjoy). Check it out!

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	16. Chapter 16

**Note: This is set in what could be called an AU of **_**Superhero**__. _**If you've watched the new Man of Steel movie, you'll see where this is from. People who have watched the movie will recognise that some of the dialogue has been taken from there.**

**X X X**

**Woman of Steel**

Fang couldn't remember the last time she'd tasted her own blood. But right now, she was tasting plenty of it. Her opponent hit harder than anything Fang could imagine. Her whole life, she'd thought was alone in the universe – the last of her race. But now there were others, and those others were bent on destroying her new home.

She refused to let that happen.

With a groan, Fang pulled herself out of the crater she'd made in the floor of the restaurant. At least the customers had been smart enough to run. It was hard enough trying to fight without worrying about all the innocent bystanders.

The far wall exploded in a shower of dust and mangled concrete. Her opponent stepped through the hole in the wall, resplendent in her strange, black armour. If things had been different, Fang might have admired her opponent's poise. The pink haired woman moved with the smooth, deadly grace of a viper, and her blue eyes gleamed with all the cold of winter.

But right now, none of that mattered. This woman was trying to harm Gran Pulse, and Fang was the only one who could stop her. Yet that was easier said than done. Fang had spent her whole life restraining herself, holding herself back so she wouldn't hurt any of the people around her. This woman had no such problems. She was a soldier.

"You are weak, Daughter of Yun, unsure of yourself." The pink haired woman grabbed a table and hurled it at Fang. The dark haired woman ducked beneath it only to run right into a punch that knocked her into the floor with enough force to create another crater. "Such a pity. Your House was amongst the greatest in all of Cocoon."

Fang growled and shot up, throwing punch after punch. Each blow was parried almost without effort before a kick drove her into the far wall of the restaurant.

"Who are you?" Fang spat blood from her mouth and stumbled forward. "You all seem to know so much about me, so who are you?"

The woman inclined her head a fraction. "I am Lightning Far'Ron." She lifted one hand and beckoned Fang forward. "Well, Daughter of Yun? What are you waiting for?"

Fists clenched, Fang charged again. But despite her best efforts, not a single one of her blows connected. Lightning looked almost disappointed, her lips curled into a faint frown.

"Look at you." Lightning grabbed Fang's wrist and heaved her over her shoulder. Fang struck the ground so hard cracks spread the length of the floor. "You barely know how to fight. You have spent your whole life living amongst all these sheep, but now you face a wolf."

"Shut up!"

Fang flew forward, fist aimed right for Lightning's jaw. The blow should have hit – she'd never faced anyone faster than her before.

But Lightning was faster.

Lightning dodged the punch, grabbed Fang by her throat and slammed her into the ground. With a flick of her wrist, she tossed Fang out the window and through half a dozen other buildings. Fang came to rest against the reinforced inner wall of a bank. Before she could regather herself, Lightning was there.

"Walk away, Daughter of Yun, and I will let you." For the first time, Lightning's voice softened. "Or join us. You are one of us, whatever else the people of this planet might have told you. They will never accept you, never understand who and what you are."

"The matron accepted me!" Fang grabbed a piece of concrete and threw it at Lightning. The other woman leaned to one side and then blocked Fang's kick. A punch to the jaw drove Fang back into the wall.

"You say she accepted you, yet you have been hidden all these years. And even if one of them accepts you, the others will hate you. They will despise you and fear you because of the power that is yours by right." Lightning grabbed Fang by the collar and slammed her into the ground. "The people of this planet are made of glass. You will never be free here. You will never be able to let yourself go and simply be who you are. But if you join us, if you let us remake Cocoon upon this world, you will never be alone again. You will be with your people."

"You're not my people."

"A pity." Lightning shook her head. "General Caius loved and respected your father although they often disagreed. It would grieve him to have you killed."

"General Caius is a madman." Fang struggled, but Lightning's grip was unbreakable. "And you're wrong about the people of this planet. They will accept me one day! They will!"

Something unreadable flashed through Lightning's eyes. "So naïve, Daughter of Yun, so very naïve. Cocoon will be restored whether you like it or not."

Fang finally managed to pry Lightning's hands off her. "Over my dead body."

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this. The same applies to Man of Steel.

So… I watched Man of Steel the other day. I quite enjoyed Zod as a villain, but man, Faora pretty much stole the show for me. The beat down she laid on Superman was unbelievable, especially since she barely even seemed to be trying for most of it. But the best part was how she talked to him the whole time, taunting him, getting into his head.

I couldn't help but think that Lightning would make an awesome Faora style character, someone who can coolly beat the living hell out of someone while casually pointing out everything that they're doing wrong. And given that Fang is basically Superman in my other story – Superhero – I decided to give the idea a go. Obviously, this is very, very short, but that's one of the things these omake are good for – playing around with new ideas and seeing what people think. And who knows, maybe Fang will be able to get Lightning to switch sides… damn, I want to write a longer version of this now…

If you want to know where I'm up to with updates on my other stories, check out my profile. You can also find a link there to a short story that I've got up on Amazon – you won't be disappointed.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


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